Past Projects

Saz asked about photos of the knitting projects I've been working on, but what I'm working on right now are gifts for people who read this blog, so I couldn't do that. But I do have a couple of pictures of some past projects. I don't always think to take pictures before I give things away, and I don't often make things for myself, so I don't have things to take pictures of. But here are a couple of things.

Jay laughed when he saw this hat, but I think it's great. I love knitting cables, and this was a simple project for that.


My young neice and sisters-in-law like to go dancing, so I made purses like this one in different colors that they could take with them.


These were THE gift this last Christmas. All the men in Al's family are hunters, so I made these fingerless gloves in camoflauge yarn to go with the scarves I made in the same yarn the year before.


Once I learned to knit in the round, it opened a whole new world of projects. But a lot of what I do is still just big rectangles. You can do a lot with rectangles.

The Fist 25

I had my latest 3-month check-up at the MS clinic today. All is well, but the heat is playing havoc with my symptoms. Also, the mood swings are not getting any better, so I’m starting Wellbutrin to try to get a handle on it. So maybe now I’ll just be a little cranky, rather than a raving lunatic!

Part of the discussion to decide what to take involved how my age and the state of my hormones might be playing a part. Being 40 now, I guess I can look forward to pre-menopausal mood shifts, in addition to the depression caused by the MS (seriously, not just depression because I have MS but it’s actually a physical symptom of the disease). Al is just so looking forward to this. I swear he actually had a look of relief on his face when I told him about the Wellbutrin. I can’t blame him. Being the only other person in the house, he gets the brunt of the swing. We’re also pretty psyched because this medication supposedly doesn’t affect the libido. And I’m psyched because the first side effect listed is weight loss! This is a problem? Weight loss would definitely lessen my depression.

So, my doctor visit made me a little thoughtful. Since we talked about how getting into her 40s is a sort of transition time for a woman, I thought I might take stock of who I am and what I’ve done. Maybe it will help me decide who I want to be, or maybe that I’m fine just the way I am.

It also gives me something to blog. So, periodically, I’m going to give you 25 facts about me. Maybe we’ll all be a little surprised.

1. I was born in Arkansas and lived in my hometown until I went to college.
2. I graduated with honors from the University of Arkansas, with a double major of English and Journalism.
3. I almost didn’t get my “with honors” title because I wrote such a bad final paper. I didn’t talk to my advisor during the writing process, just wanting to get it done. They let me rewrite it because my advisor felt responsible that he didn’t check in on me, but I felt that it was all my fault.
4. My honors paper was on Lillian Hellmann, but I don’t remember what I wrote about her.
5. I have an irrational fear of breaking down on the side of the road.
6. I’ve moved 11 times in 17 years, to 7 different cities.
7. I’ve been knitting for 2 years. My mother tried to teach me when I was a kid but I wasn’t good at it immediately, so I didn’t like it. Now I’m obsessed.
8. I have a masters in English from Louisiana Tech University.
9. After I got my master’s, I bought a cake for my party that said, “Master of Her Domain.”
10. I took singing lessons for years.
11. I’ve been in several community theater productions.
12. My first stage role was a whore in Three Penny Opera.
13. My favorite roles were Sylvie in The Female Odd Couple on stage and Katherine in The Taming of the Shrew for an acting class.
14. I love to cook and bake. And I send lots of food into work with Al.
15. When Al was meeting people in his new office but same building, the men said, “We hear your wife bakes great cookies.” Little spooky.
16. I never liked beer until I went to Germany to visit friends.
17. I still wasn’t a huge beer fan until I discovered microbreweries—New Belgium rocks.
18. I’ve helped my husband brew beer, but I don’t consider myself a brewer because I really don’t enjoy it. I consider myself Quality Control.
19. I love coffee, but rarely drink a whole cup.
20. I rarely drink a whole can of soda, either. They are referred to as “Kelley Cans” in our house because they have about a third of the liquid still in them.
21. The most surprising song on my iPod is “The Beautiful People” by Marilyn Manson. People will be shocked to hear that, but it’s good to work out to!
22. If there is a fire, I’m grabbing my iPod first. Yes, it’s that important to me.
23. My husband has a motorcycle, but I’m afraid to ride with him.
24. My dream car is a Jeep Wrangler. I want to be a Jeep Woman. Actually, it’s a Land Rover, but a Wrangler seems a little more obtainable.
25. I’m jealous of how funny my brother is and wish I was as witty and intelligent.

Book Review--Now You See Her by Cecelia Tishy

I read this book during the 2 days I was in the cabin at Niobrara State Park. I would classify this mystery as a “cozy.” Cozies are mysteries that feature an amateur detective and usually are low on graphic violence. Think Miss Marple mysteries by Agatha Christie.

In this novel, Regina Cutter is in her early 40s and newly divorced from her rich, executive husband, who dumped her for a woman one year older than their 23-year-old daughter. She moves back to Boston, inheriting her Aunt Jo’s home, psychic ability, consultant job with the police, and joint custody of a beagle named Biscuit. She always had the psychic abilities, but she hadn’t used them until she was back in her aunt’s home.

Tishy, who also writes the Kate Banning mystery series, has created a pretty tight mystery with some interesting characters and a nice atmosphere of living in Boston. The character who brings the mystery to Reggie is Detective Frank Devaney, who used to consult with Aunt Jo. He brings something for her to hold, hoping for some kind of psychic vision to help him with his case. This time, it’s a case that has already been solved, or so he thought back in the 70s. But now he’s wondering if they put the wrong man in jail. But Reggie’s gift isn’t something she can do “on call.” She has to rely on old-fashioned leg work if she wants to solve this mystery.

She has some help along the way. Stark is a Harley-riding friend of her aunt’s and with whom she shares custody of Biscuit. While Stark wants Biscuit to be a brave hunting dog, Reggie wants her a cuddly household pet. There’s a nice banter between these characters and you know that for all her protests, Reggie is glad to have Stark in her life. You will also be expecting her to be riding her own Harley by the next installment.

Nicole is Reggie’s boss and the owner of StyleSmart, a used-clothing store for women coming off welfare who need clothes to go to work. Knowing more about the not-so-desirable areas of Boston, she’s a good source of information, not to mention a means to an end in one of the many twists that the plot takes.

Oh, and there’s the Arnots, whose expensive new home has a history of quick homeowner turnover and the reason may be a ghost. Reggie has agreed to check it out for her realtor friend, Meg. But there’s more than a simple haunting going on at this home.

So, here are some opinions about this book. This is an old-fashioned book review—I’m going to actually give you an opinion, not just a story synopsis.

Tishy has created a pretty tight and fairly predictable mystery. Predictable is not a criticism—predictability is fine as long as the story is interesting enough to carry the reader through to the end. This story does that. She does a good job of all the clues culminating into a final confrontation. There are no surprises, no clues that she unfairly sneaks in, and the result is logical, even though at times it seems that she has stretched her “red herrings” a little thin. Although they come together in the end, they seem a little excessive in the middle where I got a little bogged down.

The real problem of this book for me is that it is written in first person. This is a difficult point of view to pull off because you have to decide very quickly if the narrator is believable. Because this is a mystery with the main character as detective, you have to trust her interpretation of what she sees and hears, or at least understand how she could misunderstand something. Also, it helps if you like the main character, and that’s where I have a problem. I’m not sure I like Reggie enough to really root for her. She laments constantly about her former privileged life, and although she is honest that she is having to face her racist tendencies, it’s uncomfortable when every person she meets is usually described by the color of his or her skin first.

Also, she takes some risks that are really fantastic. Now, it is fiction, so that’s ok, but I got a little irritated with her that she refused to talk to her cop friend any more about her findings and suspicions because she didn’t think he’d listen to her. So, I have a problem with introducing this cop to ask for help, then his talking down to her like she shouldn’t be doing anything to help. The intention, I think, is to allude to his stand-offish attitude as being some hidden agenda on his part. But I don’t think this is the character to do this with.

And just one little thing, she talks as if there is another book before this one, but I can’t find it. And everything I’ve seen, says that this is the first in the series. So, how did she get these bruises and sore arm from her first outing helping the police? It’s a mystery!

So, bottom line is that I liked it well enough that I didn’t put the book down. I was interested enough in it to keep reading, mainly to see if my guess of the bad guys was right. I’m not sure I’ll pick up the next in the series, though.

Ashfall Fossil Beds

A great attraction to visit while staying at Niobrara State Park is just 30 minutes south, down a country road, in the middle of nowhere—Ashfall Fossil Beds State Historical Park. Here you will see complete skeletons of animals that were buried under a blizzard of volcanic ash about 12 million years ago. Thus, the name “Ashfall.”

The Ashfall Fossil Beds:




In 1971, paleontologist Mike Voohies was excavating on Melvin Colson’s cornfield. He found the skull of a baby rhino protruding from the side of a gully, at the bottom of newly exposed gray ash. They ended up with 100 rhino skeletons in that spot. It’s at this point that I said, “Oh, rhinos, that’s interesting, I guess. [pause] Wait a second. Rhinos in Nebraska?” Yes, and camels and zebras and horned rodents and so much more. The brochure says, “It is clear that before the catastrophic ashfall occurred, the area was inhabited by a rich variety of life reminiscent of modern East African savannah.” Amazing.

The scientists think that ash from a huge volcanic eruption in the Rocky Mountains (probably southwestern Idaho), blew eastward and quickly devastated the landscape. Animals drowned or struggled through drifts of ash as if in a blizzard. They died where they lay, and that’s why they also refer to this park as a “Prairie Pompeii.”

Instead of removing all the bones and putting them into a museum, they have preserved them where they lay. You walk into an open-sided barn and walk above the fossils, and a helpful student hands you a Skeleton Map so you can know what you are looking at. It’s really very shocking at first. So many skeletons all in one place. Babies next to their mothers, and in a special case on one wall, there is the skeleton of an unborn baby rhino. Here are some pictures that will explain it better than I can:





#2 3-toed Horse:




Adult Female Rhino:



Young Adult Male Rhino:



This is a really fascinating place for kids and adults. There are digs still going on, and a paleontologist is working at the center who will answer questions and will walk out and give a tour of current digs. Here’s a picture of one of the current digs (zebra) and a picture of the sifting table and the main building:






Not a bad day for $5 for adults, plus $3.50 for a park sticker, which we didn’t need because we already had one. Get your state park stickers!

Also, the weather was gorgeous that day. They were having an unusually cool day. And I mean cool—it was at least 3 in the afternoon before the temperature got close to 80. We actually turned the heat on in the Miata! That night, the temperature got down into the 50s! I asked the lady taking the money at the front of the park if this was normal, because if it was, I’m moving there! She said it wasn’t and that they should have been in the 90s. So, it was a wonderful day for an outing. We actually had great weather the whole time and always rode with the top down in the Miata. So, I now have the tannest shoulders in Nebraska.

Well, that's about it for the trip. I did say I'd do a review of the book I read, and I'll post it this weekend sometime.

Thanks for coming along for the trip!

Lewis and Clark Slept Here, Part II

There’s a lot of history in this area, as you would imagine, and this will be your history lesson for today. Lewis and Clark camped just above the mouth of the Niobrara River. There are memorials to the explorers and the American Indians who were forced from their home in this area.

Here’s a picture of where the Niobrara and Missouri Rivers meet:




The town Niobrara is one of the oldest in Nebraska, and in August 2006, they’ll celebrate their 150th anniversary. The town has actually been relocated twice because of flooding waters. The latest move was in the 1970s. They moved a whole town? I’ve heard of that happening, but I’ve never actually been in a place where it happened.

Here’s a picture of the town from one of the hilltops in the park:




The Ponca Indians made their home in Niobrara before they were forced to move to Oklahoma, the Ponca Trail of Tears. Chief Standing Bear made a famous trek back to Nebraska to bury his son. The Chief Standing Bear Memorial Bridge crosses the Missouri River to link Nebraska and South Dakota.

Here’s a picture of where the Ponca lived:




Here’s a picture of the memorial bridge:




This area is also known for being where Mormons wintered with the Ponca Indians. Ten Mormons died during that winter, including Mormon leader Newel Knight, and there is a monument marking their graves.

Here are some other random pictures of the area:

A 15-star flag down by the Missori River:



Trail Riders in the Park:


Another pic of the Missori River:


Dueling Doggies


Wildflowers:


Coming up next, a day trip to the Ashfall Fossil Beds!

Lewis and Clark Slept Here, Part I

One of the best things about Nebraska is the state park system. The $17 for a year pass is worth it and quickly pays for itself. So, when Al and I decided that we had to get out of town for the 4th of July because they are just firecracker-crazy in this place, we decided the only safe place was a state park because they actually enforce the “no fireworks” law.

We actually found an opening at Niobrara State Park (NSP) in northeast Nebraska, but only because the 4th is on a week day—otherwise they are booked for every weekend. The park is situated on an expansive 1,260 acres at the “T” of the Missouri and Niobrara Rivers, on the Lewis and Clark Trail. I think it’s the largest park in the state, and if it’s not, it’s still pretty darn big.



It was only about 4 hours northeast of us. We got everything loaded into the Mazda Miata and took off! Part of the fun of a trip is getting there, especially in a Miata. We went through many small towns, and I do mean small. Many were less than 100 people. Each town had a grain elevator, an auto body shop, a gas station, and usually a church, and as quickly as we drove into the town, we drove right out again. The most prevalent scenery was the acres of cornfields and soy beans. There was also the wonderful floral smell of lavender! Acres and acres of lavender, which is good because it helped cover up the aroma of feed lots, which were also prevalent. The further north we got, cornfields of the flat prairie gave way to rolling mountains with round bales of hay interspersed with grazing cattle. The sun was shining and it was just starting to get hot when we pulled into the park.

They have RV pads and tent sites, but we stayed in one of the 2-bedroom cabins, the Blackbird.



They have 19 cabins at NSP, 12 are two-bedrooms and 7 are three-bedrooms. They also rent out a group lodge, which accommodates 110 people and would be great for retreats and family reunions. All the cabins are well equipped with place settings for 8, pots and pans, a pitcher, microwave, stove, refrigerator, and the all-important coffee maker. They even had coffee filters! What a great place! Each cabin has a screened-in back porch with a grill and picnic table out back. What they didn’t have was a TV or a phone. And the only radio was a small radio alarm clock. Heaven! We didn’t bring a computer, and we couldn’t get a strong enough signal on the cell phone, which means that even though Al forwarded our home phone to the cell phone (why would he do that? I don’t know), we didn’t get any calls. I was almost giddy. Now, obviously, if I really wanted to rough it we would have actually been camping. But I’m too old to sleep on the ground, and although I reveled in not fixing my hair or wearing make-up, I did like my indoor, spacious bathroom with a shower that had the water pressure of a fire hose.

Here was the only downfall to the cabin:



It looks like a dentist’s waiting room, but it’s really the family room. So, although I envisioned sitting and reading and knitting in a big comfy chair, that wasn’t meant to be. But we made due. I still got a lot of knitting done, and I read one of the two books I brought. I wanted to start with The Italian Secretary by Caleb Carr, but I decided it was going to take a little more concentration than I wanted to give it. Carr is a great writer, but this book is a Sherlock Holmes story, written from Dr. Watson’s point of view in Victorian England, so it’ll take a little more focus. So, I read Now You See Her by Cecelia Tishy, a “cozy” mystery set in Boston. I’ll actually write about it in another post.

Although the only thing I was really interested in was reading and strolling around the trails, the park did offer activities for those who have a hard time being still. That would be my husband, by the way. He was telling me the activity choices from the information brochures, conveniently organized in a binder on the table. Horseback riding, hiking trails, swimming, and guided motorized raft tours on the Missouri River all at our disposal. But it was late in the afternoon, and all we really wanted to do was jump in the pool and cool off.

But let me tell ya about this pool. Sorry I don’t have a photo, but it looks like a pool. It costs $3.50 to get in, and once you’re in, they require that you shower first. Also, they don’t allow shoes in the pool area—any shoes. So, yes, you burn your feet as you walk around. Also, there are no lounge chairs. No chairs of any kind! The only chairs are the Lifeguard stations. Luckily, the pool was still worth it. That was the cleanest swimming pool I have ever been in! And cold! We wanted to cool off, and it worked. We stayed for an hour and a half, but the kids had gotten bored of jumping off the diving board and were heading into the more shallow end where we were. It was a sign that we should head back to the cabin.

Back to the cabin and eat! We brought grillin’ food with us. There is a family-owned market just a couple of miles down the road in the town of Niobrara where we picked up the things we forgot, but we brought most of the stuff we’d need. Unlike other vacations, this one was not all about the food. We didn’t go out to eat at all, preferring to grill something and sit out on the back porch.



After we ate, we went for a walk. Dusk was just beginning, my favorite time of day. Here are some of the photos.

View from behind our cabin:


View from across the street of our cabin:


Missouri River at Sunset:



Well, that’s enough for Part I. Next, I’ll post some more photos and information about the area.

Honey, I'm Home!

It feels like I've been gone for a week, but really it's only been a couple of days. This is really just a quick note to let everyone know that I'm home and am working on posts about my trip. I know you are waiting with bated breath for details of our little trip to the cabin.

We stayed at Niobrara State Park, which is in Nebraska, just the other side of the Missouri River from South Dakota. And yes, it is in the middle of nowhere.

Right now, though, I'm putting aloe on my sunburn and getting the laundry together. It's amazing how much laundry two people can make in just 2 days!

Talk to you soon.

Going Out of Town

Hi! Being in Nebraska for July 4th is like being in downtown Beirut, so we're outta here! I've never been real wild about fireworks, anyway, and they are just horrible here. Our poor little dog, who has never been afraid of fireworks, peed in the house last year because every time she tried to go outside there was another huge BOOM from an illeagal, commercial firework. So, orginally, we made these plans to get her out of town. Now that she's gone, we're goin anyway.

So, I'll be out of commission for a couple of days. My hubby asked what I wanted to take to the cabin with me and I said, "A book." That's all I want.

So, to hold you over until then, I nabbed this off of Jay.

40 Questions

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
No—I’m waaaaayyy too ticklish for that!

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
Yes, because I’m a weenie.

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
1993 in Syracuse NY. Actually, we had the dog pull us on the sled.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
I am such a bad sleep partner, my husband sometimes wishes I’d sleep by myself, I’m sure. The tossing and turning and talking in my sleep drives him nuts!

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yep. I even did a “cleansing” of our new house. I have a way too active imagination.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Yes. Do other’s consider me creative? Obviously not the people who hire and pay creative people.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Yes, for all my opinion matters on that subject.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Aaaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhh! No more! No more! I don't care!!!!

9. Do you stay friends with your exes?
No. I don’t really have any exes. I got lucky and found my sweetie pretty early.

10. Do you know how to play poker?
Not without a cheat sheet.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Yep.

12. What's your favorite commercial?
The guy making his cell phone talk to the co-worker on the other side of the cubicle wall, “Because he’s lame?!?”

13. What are you allergic to?
Mountain cedar. The worst part of living in San Antonio.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?
No, cause I’d still get caught.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
If anyone else knew, it wouldn’t be a secret.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
That’s baseball, right? Are those my only choices?

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Yes, but I was like 8 or something. I’d love to go again.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Until I have my first cup of coffee.

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
Watching Billy Connolly talk about his prostate exam.

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
Yesterday
I Wanna Hold Your Hand
I Am the Walrus
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
Eleanor Rigby

21. What's the one thing on your mind now?
I don’t want to give myself my shot in a couple of hours.

22. Do you know who Ghetto-ass barbie is?
Don’t know, don’t wanna know.

23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Yes, always.

24. What cell service do you use?
Verizon. Like the service, hate my phone

25. Do you like Sushi?
If it comes out of the ocean and you put wassabi on it, I’ll eat it.

26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
Yes

27. What do you wear to bed?
White tank top and panites.

28. Been caught stealing?
Yes, but I was like 6 or something and was just exchanging what Mom had bought for something better I wanted. They were just sitting in a box—no one said I couldn’t trade up. Sheesh, what a fuss!

29. What shoe size do you have?
8.

30. Do you truly hate anyone?
Yes, but I’ve tried to move on. A person who does hateful things and enjoys it is easy to hate.

31. Classic Rock or Rap?
I guess Classic Rock. But if I hear Sweet Home Alabama one more time I’m gonna have to crawl through the radio wires and strangle someone.

32. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
The latest obsession is Tony Curran. He’s Marcus in Underworld Evolution. And he’s a Scotsman—I have a thing for Scottish men.


33. Favorite Song?
Hmmmm. That is so hard. I love “Smooth” by Santana and never get tired of hearing it. But I also love “Come Rain or Come Shine.”

34. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?
No.

35. What food do you find disgusting?
Pork rinds.

36. Do you sing in the shower?
Yes, usually Patsy Cline

37. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"?
Yes. And that’s all I’m gonna say.

38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
I’m sure I did when I was younger.

39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Yes.

40. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Heaven forbid!

No Way! Women Have Affairs?

Would you believe that there are actually married women out there who have had or are having affairs? You’d think by the article in Newsweek and the Oprah show today, that no one ever thought that it was possible for a wife to go out and have an affair.

In The New Infidelity Newsweek writers, obviously watching too much Desperate Housewives and deciding to capitalize on it, have decided that the love lives of lonely and underappreciated women is actually news. Oprah thinks it so much so that she had a show on it today, which I admit I watched. I hardly ever watch Oprah—just when she’s got someone famous I like on—but what the hell? I thought the show was about swingers, which for some reason I just find fascinating. I mean, I don’t share well others, so I’m just amazed at couples who share something so personal with people who are basically strangers! One of the couples said it made their sex lives better—like vacation sex all the time. Oprah and I both raised our eyebrows. I know we were thinking the same thing, “Really? Vacation sex all the time? Cool.”

But I digress. The first part of the show was about this article in Newsweek that “blew the lid off this story,” saying an estimated 15 percent of women cheat on their husbands. And they’ve decided they know why it’s happening, which you can see in the subtitle to the article: “Why they stray: With the work place and the Internet, overscheduled lives and inattentive husbands—it's no wonder more American women are looking for comfort in the arms of another man.” Notice what’s mentioned first? That’s right boys and girls, women working is one of the causes for wifely infidelity. It’s not the bored housewife, it’s those women in the workplace! See how terrible it is when women leave the home to go work!?!

But you know, they just might be on to something. Here’s what one therapist said:

There's a more subtle point embedded in here as well: women and men bring their best selves to work, leaving their bad behavior and marital resentments at home with their dirty sweatpants. At work, "we dress nicely. We think before we speak. We're poised," says Elana Katz, a therapist in private practice and a divorce mediator at the Ackerman Institute for the Family in New York City.

That’s true. At work I felt like a problem-solver, respected for my intelligence and skills. But many, many times at home I felt like I couldn’t do anything right, criticized because the house wasn’t clean enough and I didn’t have anything planned for dinner. Now, my husband and I have pretty much worked through that, and I never considered having an affair, but I’ve seen it happen to friends.

Anyway, after talking about women having affairs and couples swinging to keep their marriage healthy, Oprah stated that the definition of marriage is obviously changing. Ya think so? If the majority of red states and the droves of people who came out to vote against gay marriages is any indication, I’d say, if anything, there is a push for conservatively traditional marriage.

And I’ll tell ya what I tell my husband. Everything that I do that drives him crazy, other women do the same thing, so he might as well stay with me. And considering how many of our male friends have divorced their wives, just to remarry a woman who could be their first wife’s sister, he might as well stay with me. Besides, supposedly, as I enter into my 40s, I’m in for a boost of sexual prowess, and he doesn’t want to miss that!

Hangovers and Tears

We were out until last call at our favorite pub, the Dell, last night. We took our friends there, who met up with some of their friends, all to drink a dram of single malt to their friend who committed suicide last Friday.

It was surreal to sit a table and listen to stories of someone you’ve never met but still felt like you knew because he had become real through all the stories. Our friends talked about him often, and we were actually supposed to meet him and his wife a year ago, kind of a melding of the separate friendships into one, but it didn’t happen. The mutual friends moved away, and we got settled into our own life here. Is it selfish of me to say I’m glad that meeting never happened? How much harder would this be if I had met him, his wife, and his 2 ½ year old son?

It’s already harder than I thought. When friends need a place to stay, you automatically offer it to them. I concerned myself with getting fresh sheets on the bed, dusting and moping, cleaning out the bathtub, baking something with chocolate in it, and having plenty of coffee beans for the morning and beer for the rest of the day. I forgot the emotional toll it can have, however. I’ve had someone close to me commit suicide, and the memories are flooding back a little faster than I can handle. I didn’t realize how letting my friend talk about how she’s feeling would force me to relive what I had been through, resulting in me talking about my experience to show her that I understand. It’s not the first time we’ve cried together, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.

They’ll be gone all day today at the funeral and a “beer call.” I imagine they’ll be out all night, too. She wants to include me, so she’s invited me along, but I’m going to keep my distance and let them mourn with the people who shared his friendship. And my hubby is going to go into work (I know, that sounds funny, but he’s coming off of a shift, so technically he’s off for a couple of days), so I have the house to myself today. I think I may just sit and enjoy the quiet for awhile. Maybe say a little prayer for lost friends.

Potterific Ponderings

Jay posted today about who he thinks will live and who will die in the last Harry Potter novel. I haven’t really thought about it too much, but reading his post made me want to wax potteric for a while.

Through the first few books, I spent way too much of my adult life trying to figure out where the HP books will go. Who will die, who will get together, who will be the next Dark Arts teacher . . . But I haven’t really thought about that too much in the last two books. Oh, I figured Harry and Ginny would get together, that seemed pretty obvious at the end of book 5, but really, I haven’t done much more thinking on it. I’ve decided I just want to enjoy them. Let them suck me into that world, then unfold.

This is a new thing for me, by the way. I’ve always been one of those readers who figures out where a book is going before I get halfway through it. It’s the curse of the English major! You know plot structure so well that not much surprises you. But I’ve learned how to turn that off, thank goodness. I don’t even watch the extras on DVDs I rent any more because I don’t want to take away from the magic. Well, ok, I watched some of the extras for Underworld Evolution, but that’s because it’s a vampire movie, and well, I like vampire movies, so I wanted to know everything about it.

Anyway, I digress. I don’t want Harry to die. As I commented on Jay’s blog, I think that Neville might be the one who saves Harry and defeats Voldemort (there will be no mamsy-pansy he-who-shall-not-be-named on this blog!). But for it to truly be Harry’s story, Harry will have to help Neville defeat the old baddie. Then, Neville will die.
And we will be sad.

Rowling said two characters will die, and I’m assuming she means besides Voldemort. She also said she expects it to really upset people, so at least one of them is going to be someone we all really like. Ron (please no!), Hermione (no, someone has to write the history and legacy of Harry Potter), Lupin, Hagrid, and yes, even Draco. I don’t think Draco is going to turn colors and be noble, but I think he is a victim of Voldemort.

Of course, my thoughts are minimal and sparse compared to the website forums out there. Good Lord these people know a lot about these books! Have you been to the Harry Potter Lexicon? If Rowling ever needs to refresh her memory about anything in her books, all she has to do is go to that site. It makes me feel like I’m not a fan at all. Which gives me an idea for another post for another day. Hmmmmmm.

Anyway, I can wait for the 7th book. Yes, you read that right--I can wait. I need to re-read a couple of them to remind myself about some of the characters and events. But, I really hope that Lucius escapes from Azkaban because I want to see Jason Isaacs in the last movie since he won’t be in the 6th.

Popcorn Salvation

Aaaahhh, popcorn. Is there anything more helpful or comforting than a big bowl of hot popcorn? Except maybe a big spoon of peanut butter, but I digress.

Popcorn just fits any situation.

Need a little snack because it’s in-between lunch and dinner—popcorn.

Netflix just delivered that movie I’ve been waiting to see—popcorn.

Hubby working the night shift and I don’t feel like cooking dinner—popcorn.

Stressed and so emotional that I need to eat something for comfort— extra-buttered popcorn and a Coke.

Ate a late, late breakfast and it’s too close to dinner to have lunch—popcorn.

Need something to snack on while I struggle to write something on my blog, thereby avoiding the cleaning I should be doing and the homework I should be completing for my online class—popcorn.

Need something to throw at my hubby who is looking at me sideways because I should be helping him clean, then get cleaned up so I can go shopping for food for his dinner, and then finish my online class assignment—popcorn.

Well, that’s enough stalling. Those tables need dusting and that tub needs cleaning if I’m going to have house guests.

It's Going To Be a Long Week, I'm Afraid

We have good friends coming in this week for a funeral. She was planning to come visit me to check on a house they own here, and we were planning to hit our favorites restaurants and bars and bookstores. Plans have changed a little, but we’ll still hit the Dell (our favorite pub) to have a drink for their friend. And I imagine she and I will stay up all night talking and gabbing, which our husbands just shake their head at. How do we find stuff to talk about for so long? Poor guys. It’s a mystery, I know.

Their friend committed suicide. I have personal experience with this, so I was quick to offer them a place to stay and a place to vent all the anger and guilt that come with this experience. It’s so hard to know what to say, so I usually don’t say anything except, “I’m sorry for your loss.” And I warned her that someone is going to say something really inappropriate and that will really piss her off. It’s inevitable at a funeral.

And that reminded me about a guy I met at the party Friday night who had some real words of wisdom in a drunken lecture. We had gotten on the subject of funerals (I don’t remember how), and he went off about the horrible things that people will say. He told all of us (and Mom, you might want to cover your ears at this point) that if you don’t know what to say, don’t say fuckin’ anything. The rest of lecture went, “Just don’t say anything! Don’t try to fuckin’ elaborate or say something else, just don’t say anything besides, ‘I’m sorry.’ It’s like the fuckin’ birthday cards. Everyone tries to write something so meaningful, but ya know what I write on birthday cards? ‘Happy Fuckin’ Birthday’ that’s what. What else do you need?”

So, my friends and family should be prepared for a new slant on birthday cards from me!

Oh Please.

Well, let's see. Bush is furious at the NY Times for an article disclosing a program to secretly monitor the financial tracking of potential terrorists. I'm sorry, is this the same administration that leaked the name of a CIA operative because her husband was speaking out against the war in Iraq? Hmmmm. I think it is!

Bush is claiming that the NY Times was irresponsible because we are at war, people! Wow. Such insight from our leader is just, just riveting. Never mind that they use the media to their advantage to plant the stories they want and to their benefit. And never mind that if he thinks that story surprises anyone, he really is clueless. And never mind that the administration had discussed this article with the Times before it was printed. And never mind that Bush spends more time defending the program than talking about the real danger of an article that could give terrorists a head's up to change their tactics.

Sheesh!

Yes! I love Chicago!

American Cities That Best Fit You::

65% Chicago

65% Philadelphia

60% New York City

55% San Francisco

50% Denver

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

I could live in Chicago.

Wow! It's Just Wow!

Elvis Costello and Diana Krall are going to have a baby! He's 51 and she's 41, and they're going to have a baby. First of all, I'm a HUGE Krall fan, and I kind of like him, too. And I don't know, I'm 40. And I just kind of feel like my chance to have kids is past, and here's this couple having a baby! Of course, they have whole lot more money than I have, and I don't know what they had to go through to get pregenant, but still, it's just kind of cool that there's going to be a little musical baby genius. OK, and I have to say it, that union is just on this side of odd any way, so a baby?!?

Dublin or Edinburgh, Same Diff

OK, so every now and then these tests actually work. Yes, I should be in Dublin!

You Belong in Dublin

Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions. You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town.

What European City Do You Belong In?

Tasting "Lite Whites"

No, I didn’t know what he meant by “Lite Wines” either, but our friend “Chum” was having a wine-tasting party, and who am I to turn down free wine? Oh, and in his explanation, Lite Wines are Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Gregio, no Chardonnay or anything too sweet.

Chum is a wine connoisseur with excellent taste (guess that’s what makes him a connoisseur). He even had tasting worksheets for everyone to help describe what we were tasting. Woodsy? Spicy? Fruity? Tropical fruit? Tree fruit? Hubby is really good at this; he can talk for hours about the distinct flavors in wine, beer and scotch. Me? White wine is either sweet or it’s not, that’s about as descriptive as I get. And, I’d prefer red wine, any way.

But the big deal about this party was that I didn’t want to go. I’d had a bad week, I was tired, and I was feeling really anti-social. Also, I had to go alone because hubby was at work, but he wanted to come when he got off work, so he badgered me into going. Well, maybe not “badger” that seems a bit harsh, so let’s say he was encouraging me to go. And he was right of course, damn it. It was good for me to go and get out of the house and be around people. And I had a great time, so I’m glad I went.

However, I almost turned around and went home with my contribution of Pine Ridge Chenin Blanc. Chum lives in a loft downtown, and I almost didn’t find a parking spot because everyone was downtown for the yearly art show and College World Series celebrations. On my second time around, I found a spot about a block away, so I gave in.

So, I’m walking in my new, cute strapy sandals, hoping that I don’t fall flat on my face, when I hear, “Helllloooooo!” It’s my pastor and her husband, heading back to their car from the art show. I put the bottle behind my back and said, “I’m not carrying a bottle of wine,” and we laughed. She’s actually our Associate Pastor and about 27 years old, so she’s cool. Plus, I’m Methodist, and Methodist can drink. So, we chatted, then I headed to the apartment building, hoping I could remember how to get through security.

I was glad I went early, and I even recognized some people from Chum’s last party and from Hubby’s work. And I have to share this, too, because later in the evening I got a compliment! We, as usual, were two of the last people there, and Chum and I were talking about photography and writing and how I could help him and other stuff. And I don’t know what I said but Chum said, “ You’re what . . . I want . . . (pointed at hubby) When you’re done with him, let me know.” He was drunk and won’t remember, but it’s still a compliment, so I’ll take it. However, he also told me that he didn’t think I could be mean enough about his writing to help him because he thinks I’m too nice. Well, that just shows he doesn’t really know me at all!

So, that was my Friday night. Not bad. Better than Saturday night, which was a “Craft Night” at a friend’s house and all the women brought their babies and all the babies cried incessantly. Can we say “migraine” boy and girls? Ugh. But on the bright side, I got a lot of knitting done that night, so some of my Christmas presents are well on their way to being finished.

Coming Back Soon

OK, I'm a little more rested. Well, actually, right now, I feel like I could sleep for a couple of days, but I feel like posting again. Might be a little slow--my MS has slowed me down a little recently--but I'll post again soon.

So, check back soon.

Thanks.

Later

I'm taking a break from blogging. I like reading other people's blogs but not writing on my own, so I'm gonna stop for awhile.

Thanks for stopping by.

A New Day

I'm in the house by myself for the first time since Daily passed away. And I'm doing OK because as some told me, the good memories are taking the place of the sadness.

I'm keeping busy by surfing the net. Yes, there are many other things I could be doing, but what the hell. Jay read his horoscope and put it on his blog. Jay checked his horoscope? That alone is newsworthy. I haven't looked at mine in a while, so I went to yahoo first. One of the nice things about horescopes is that if you don't like one, go find another source, it might be better. So, here's what Yahoo said about me today:

Something fresh and lovely wants to enter your personal life, but first you need to make room for it. Sweep away some old patterns. Get rid of any mental junk. It's time to dump the old. Welcome the new.

Now, this is significant because I got an email from the lady we got Daily from and she said she'll have puppies in the fall and she'll give us one. Of course, I'm ready for another dog right now--actually, I want 2 more dogs. But Hubby is pretty heartbroken and said he doesn't want another pet, ever ever ever. Maybe that horoscope was meant for him. Maybe they mixed up Taurus and Leo today.

So, just for fun, what does my horoscope in our local paper say?

(A 3-star day!) Move slowly this morning. You don't need or want a flub-up. Instinctiveness plays a role with a partner. This afternoon, emphasize what you want. Expect to have excellent results--if not now, ultimately. Tonight: As you like.

Hmmmmmm. I could make a case that it pertains to getting another dog. That's the other nice thing about horoscopes, you can make them fit the way you want them to.

And just for the helluvit, here's what Horoscope.com says:

With a strong aspect between your ruling planet and the moon you are likely to be somewhat preoccupied and a little air-headed today. The lack of earth energy at the moment won’t help, nor will the likely romantic distractions. However, having some amethyst or clear quartz will help you focus.

Huh? So, I'm a ditz today and even Hubby making the moves on me won't help take my mind off things. Well, we'll see about that! I don't have any amethyst, but I saw a beautiful amethyst ring at the mall. Do you think shopping will increase my earth energy?

So many things to think about. But first, coffee. I've been up for hours and haven't had coffee. I think that will help my earth energy, too.

Well, That's Odd

This is just too weird to not to comment on. Axel Rose and Tommy Hilfiger got into a fight at a party.

First of all, Axel Rose is still alive and walking around?

The fight apparently was started by Hilfiger, who punched Rose for moving his girlfriend's drink. OK, second of all, Tommy Hilfiger has a girlfriend?

Rose was at the club to play a surprise gig for Rosario Dawson's 27th birthday. So, third of all, Rose is so hard up that he has to take birthday gigs? Will bar mitzvahs be far behind?

Another Thing To Keep Me Busy

My pen pal in England sent me this though email, so what the heck, I'll put it here.

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Library Aide
2. Senior Editor
3. Editorial Assistant
4. Teacher

Four movies I would watch over and over:

1. Harry Potter movies
2. Chocolate
3. The Princess Bride
4. Shaun of the Dead


Four places I have lived:

1. Harrison, AR
2. Shreveport, LA
3. Rome, NY
4. Pensacola, FL

Four TV shows I love to watch:

1. Dr. Who (the new one with Christopher Eccelston)
2. House
3. Midsomer Murders
4. Project Runway


Four places I have been on holiday:

1. Scotland
2. England
3. Germany
4. Toronto Canada

Four of my favourite foods:

1. Indian food
2. fruit pies
3. Mongolian BBQ
4. Anything fried


Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Scotland
2. Scotland
3. Scotland
4. Scotland

Hey Jay! If you need something to blog, you're tagged.

Thank You

Thank all of you for your kind words of support. The vet's office even sent us flowers. We miss Daily something awful, but I know we did the right thing.

I've been watching some movies we made of her a year ago while we lived in Ohio. Oh my God she was so sick these last few months. The dog in those movies isn't the poor little dog that was living in my home. It doesn't ease the pain or make me miss her any less, but at least I feel that we did what was best for our poor puppy.

So, what do you do to keep your mind off of the sadness that you're feeling?

1. Clean the house and pack away Daily's things. I'll keep most of the toys and things in case we get another dog, but I'm giving her towels, blankets and her bed to the humane society.

2. Plant the herbs that have been sitting on my table for a week.

3. Eat, eat and still more eating. Comfort foods are good--mashed potatoes, ice cream.

4. I would drink, but that damn medication I'm on keeps me from having too much.

5. Drive around town.

6. Go to the gym--you know I'm desperate now!

7. Spend an evening with friends.

8. Watch tv because the silence in the house is about to drive me completely over the bend.

9. Watch movies of the dog to kickstart the happy memories.

Thanks again everyone.

Be at Peace

It was time. By this morning, Daily wasn't eating or drinking. And she couldn't sit up on her own for very long. She's not suffering any longer. And although I am glad for that, I miss her so very much. My DailyDog. Here's one of the last pictures of her, before her health turned for the worse. She was still able to jump up onto "her" couch.

When Is It Time?

This is going to be sad. It's always sad when a much-loved pet is sick. I'm sorry about this, but I don't have an outlet for this confusion I'm feeling and it might help to write it out.

My dog, Daily, has congestive heart failure. She's 11, and the heart failure has slowly been getting worse since her diagnosis in the summer of 2004. Right now, on her latest x-ray a couple of weeks ago, her heart is huge--the size of a softball. It's so large her lungs aren't as visible because they have been pressed against the sides of her chest and her trachia has been pushed up almost parallel with her spine. As I type this, she's panting, taking short shallow breaths and looking up at me with her brown eyes that I can see all too clearly since she was groomed a few weeks ago. When I pet her, I can feel the bones in her shoulders, her back, and her bottom, but her stomach is large and round because the fluid from her lungs has seeped into her abdomen. She can't jump up on the couch with me any more, and I've even helped her up the steps into the house. Her tongue and gums are pale to light pink. She's on the max medication. All signs of a very sick dog who may be suffering.

So, here's the hard part. She's still eating, although not as much or as regularly as before. And if she's offered jerky or treats, she happily wags her tail and accepts them. She's still drinking. She's still urinating and everything else she needs to do by taking herself outside through the doggie door. She still sits up and wags her tail when we walk into a room, and even greets us at the door sometimes when we return home. All signs of a dog who is going downhill, but still maybe having a viable life.

Everyone tells me that I'll know when it's time to make the decision to put her down. She's not going to pass away in her sleep--the vet said that rarely happens. It's the way we want it to happen, but it just doesn't. He admitted that every time we bring her in for a problem, he wonders if this is the time he's going to have to have "the talk" with us. But when she's at the vet, the adrenaline kicks in, and she's almost perky. Hubby thinks I'm obsessing and thinking about it too much. "She's fine," he says. He's waiting for her to pass out--that seems to be the final sign for him. The vet says that she'll get dispondent where nothing will interest her. We're not at that point yet.

She's staring at me because she wants something. What does she need? It's so easy to give human feelings to that canine face. I think she's looking at me saying, "Help me! Can't you see I'm having trouble breathing here!" But then I'll ask, "Wanna cookie?" And her ears perk up and her tail wags. So, I give her a cookie.

She's my dog, my responsibility. The love she has brought to my family has been immeasurable, and I don't want to fail her now. But if it's not really time, am I just trying to get something really painful over with? Am I really seeing things worse because I'm so afraid that I'll let her suffer too long?

She's inching closer to me, dragging her heavy hind quarters. "Do you want a cookie?" Ears perk up, stops panting, wags her tail. I think that means "Yes."

Got Tagged.

Cool. Something different to do on the ol' blog. Got tagged by Jay, so here it goes.


I AM more than I let people know or see.

I WANT to achieve rather than dream.

I WISH Jay realized that he is really talented.

I MISS the thrill of watching cartoons on a Saturday morning.

I HEAR my dog breathing as she's sleeping on the couch next to me.

I WONDER wonder who badoo oo who. Who wrote the book of love.

I REGRET that I didn't call my dad on New Years Eve, 1996.

I AM NOT going to dwell on what I'm not.

I DANCE so much less than I used to. And that makes me sad.

I AM NOT ALWAYS as nice as people think I am.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS knitted-with-love items for my friends and family.

I WRITE not nearly as much as I think about writing.

I CONFUSE silence with disapproval.

I NEED to stop being afraid.

I SHOULD be in Scotland, writing while tending my sheep in the Highlands, after having a beer with Ian Rankin at the Oxford Bar in Edinburgh.

I START new projects almost every day.

I FINISH nary a project.

I TAG Betty.

I'm a Bookaholic.

And I can't stop myself. I have several books I'm trying to read right now, and at the rate I'm going, I won't finish any of them! Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I just be interested in one subject at a time so that I can read a book, then move on to another?

Why do I keep going to the library and getting armloads of books that I'm just going to have to return unread? It's not that I don't want to read them, I just hate having that due date looming over me. I feel like I'm being forced to read that book, so, of course, my Taurus stubborness says, "Maybe I don't want to read that right now. Maybe I want to read this paperback that's been sitting in my bookcase forever." But, I'm just as bad at the bookstore--buying books that I'm so excited about, then they just sit on the shelf. It's as if, now that I have it, I don't want it any more. How fickle.

So, which should I be reading right now? Should I go back to The Geographer's Library, which I put down while I reread The Dogs of Bedlam Farm. Or, I have the latest Jon Katz book on training dogs, and since I looooooved The Dogs of Bedlam Farm, I'm kind of on a dog kick. But, I'm also on another mystery kick, since I started the latest Rebus mystery on my list(I'm working my way through all of them). I started that one while on the stationary bike at the gym. And I have two Sherlock Holmes-inspired books: The Italian Secretary by Caleb Carr, which is a new Holmes mysters, and Arthur and George by Julian Barnes, which is about Arthur Conan Doyle in a real-life mystery.

Of course, I won't get anything read if I don't close this laptop. It just sucks me in, and before I know it, the hours I could have spent reading one of those library books was spent looking for the latest info on the Harry Potter movies, gossip at E!, and catching up on some blogs.

Oh well. Maybe I'll just knit instead.

Brrrrrr.

It’s the middle of May and I still have the space heater on keeping my feet warm! We didn’t have a very cold winter, and now we seem to be having an unusually cool spring. The highs have been in the low 60s and the lows have been in the low 40s. What’s up with that?

But the good news is that since it’s so cool, I’m still in jeans and slacks, so I don’t have to shave my legs! There’s always a bright side.

Cell Phones Are A Tool of the Devil

And they are slowly devouring our souls. I know, I know, “but I neeeeeeeed them for an emergency! What if my (mother, father, child, lover, second-cousin-twice-removed) calls?” We survived years, years I say, without cell phones. Now we can’t seem to go 30 minutes without a fix.

Case in point: We’re having dry wall repairs done in our house. Little leak in a pipe left a big hole; actually, 3 big holes because the plumber went looking for the leak. Great dry waller—seems to be doing an excellent job. He’s been here 3 hours and he’s not done. I don’t have a problem with how long something like this takes because I want it done right. But he could work faster if one of his hands wasn’t holding onto his cell phone while he talked to a girlfriend, daughter, lover, somebody about how he doesn’t want to invade her space!! Sheesh! People! Get a grip!

Now, I admit to a bias. I hate all phones, not just cell phones. I was the only teenage girl who didn’t spend hours on the phone. As a matter of fact, I hate talking on the phone, always have. And if I have to talk to someone I don’t know, I break out into a cold sweat and get all shaky. I have to write out what I’ll say because I get tongue-tied if I don’t. Hell, I get tongue-tied if I do! So, it’s not surprising that I think cell phones are evil. It’s bad enough to have a phone in my house for veterans and police to ask for money, now I’m supposed to carry a phone with me when I’m gleefully away from my home phone? So that people I don’t want to talk to can get hold of me anyway? That’s just wrong.

However, I do have a cell phone, and it really is for emergency use. Anyone who knows me can attest to that because my cell phone is never on. I don’t even know my cell phone number. My fear of my car breaking down is stronger than my hatred of cell phones, so I’ve given in.

But, really. If I was working at your house, I wouldn’t ask to use your phone to make personal calls. Nor would I give my friends and family your number so that they could call me at your home. It’s rude and unprofessional, but we don’t seem to blink an eye when it comes to cell phones.

Cast out the evil and live forth in sunshine and the beautiful sounds of birds and traffic and silence and whistling and music. And not the trilling, electronic sounds of musical ringers and other people's conversations.

Just One More Thing

I can't stop thinking about that article, and I have one more thing to say.

There was one particular quote near the beginning of the article that has stuck with me:

. . . Judie Brown, president of the American Life League, an organization that has battled abortion for 27 years but that, like others, now has a larger mission. "The mind-set that invites a couple to use contraception is an antichild mind-set," she told me.

That's a bit of a leap, don't ya think? I mean, I take contraception pills because I don't want to have children. I have my reasons for that, none that I'm willing or ready to share with everyone here, but I have my reasons. And none of those are that I am antichildren. She makes me sound like the cold-hearted Baroness Bomburst in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang who sends out the Child Catcher.

Does my using contraception make me an unethical, morally depleted non-Christian? No. Does my using contraception mean that I hate children? No. Does my using contraception mean that I must be branded with a giant "C" on my forhead for being contraceptively childless? No.

And by their definition, even if I use the rythm method, isn't that a forced form of abortion since I'm not allowing my body to be available during times in which I could conceive? And since during breast feeding the body will naturally not let an egg implant, thereby not allowing the body to become pregnant, should women not be allowed to breast feed? You see how silly this all quickly becomes?

And one snide comment, just for good measure. I'm not taking anything a woman who spells Judy with an "ie" seriously.

And The Real Intentions Are Revealed

Jay has said that not only are conservatives wanting to stop a woman's right to chose, but they want total control, including how and when we have sex and who we have sex with. I was hoping he was just being a little paranoid and exaggerating. But today, in the New York Times Magazine is an artilce titled, "Contra-Contraception." It's about the conservative and Chritian-right wanting to take away contraception because it is a form of abortion and encourages promiscuity outside of marriage.

Here's one of the money quotes.

Many Christians who are active in the evolving anti-birth-control arena state frankly that what links their efforts is a religious commitment to altering the moral landscape of the country. In particular, and not to put too fine a point on it, they want to change the way Americans have sex. Dr. Stanford, the F.D.A. adviser on reproductive-health drugs, proclaimed himself "fully committed to promoting an understanding of human sexuality and procreation radically at odds with the prevailing views and practices of our contemporary culture."

Of course, the Morning After pill has come under fire--a thunderbolt of Christian anger to destroy wrong-doers. But when Plan B, a different kind of pill that acts more like a birth control pill, meaning that it keeps a maybe-fertilized egg from implanting, which is the legal definition of pregnancy, it seemed like a win-win situation. But the religios right still saw it as an abortion because they don't like the definition of what constitutes pregnancy, meaning that they believe an egg that has been fertilized is the beginning; therefore, Plan B stopped the pregnancy from occurring. So, if you're going to believe that, then all forms of contraceptives are abortion tools. Plan B was shot down. No one could get a straight answer out of Bush, of course, even though federal regulations under the Bush Administration state, ""Pregnancy encompasses the period of time from implantation until delivery." But here's Bush's response, or nonresponse:

At a White House press briefing in May of last year, three months before the F.D.A.'s nonruling on Plan B, Press Secretary Scott McClellan was asked four times by a WorldNetDaily correspondent, Les Kinsolving, if the president supported contraception. "I think the president's views are very clear when it comes to building a culture of life," McClellan replied.

Intersting how that word "culture" keeps coming up by the same people with the same political agenda, huh?

But it wasn't just that this pill and other contraceptives are really abortions. There's also the belief that the availability will just result in promiscuity. Here's another money quote:

Meanwhile a government report later found that Dr. Janet Woodcock, deputy commissioner for operations at the F.D.A., had also expressed a fear that making the drug available over the counter could lead to "extreme promiscuous behaviors such as the medication taking on an 'urban legend' status that would lead adolescents to form sex-based cults centered around the use of Plan B."

Oh good grief! Sex-based cults? Give me a break. They are ignoring a basic fact--humans want to have sex, and they don't need a pill to give them permission. By the logic of the religious right, if there wasn't any form of contraception, all these people who are unfaithful to their spouses and engage in illicit sex will all of a sudden become moral, upright citizens who only have sex in the missionary position with their spouses. But, don't worry about all those influences out there that might encourage people to have sex, such as pornography, tv shows, movies, and that ol' standby human nature, let's just make sure that the possibility of pregnancy isn't stopped.

There's a lot more to the article; it's 9 pages after all. It also goes into the fact that other countries don't have our hang ups and their abortion and unwanted pregnency rates are lower than ours--always a point of contention for the right-wingers. Of course, all those countries aren't trying to encourage a "culture of life."

Ramblin'

Daily had another trip to the vet. Her stomach is distended, and although I was pretty sure it was fluid from her congested heart failure, the vet wanted to see her to make sure it wasn't bloat. It's fluid. Poor puppy can't jump up on the couch without help because her tummy is so big. She's on more Lasix, but the vet thinks we need to realize that it could be sooner rather than later that we'll have to think about putting her down. I'm amazed that I can even think about this, but I guess it's because I know it's not going to be too soon. She still wants to go for walks and she still eats her food (less than before, but she eats), so she's still hanging in there with us.

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We've been social butterflies lately. Two parties in 3 days! And although it was fun to get out and meet new people and see old friends, it's just not as much fun being the only sober person when everyone else around you is all abuzz. But then again, being sober, I had some good laughs. And you know what? Apparently, homemade biscotti that was good early in the evening is "Aaaaahhhh oooooohhhhh soooooooo gooooooood. The beeeesssssttt cooooooookieeeeee everrrrrrrr" about 4 hours and 5 glasses of wine later.

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US Rep. Patrick Kennedy is entering a rehabilitation program (his second try). His dad, Teddy, said he's proud of his son for "taking responsibility." They always take responsibility after they get caught. And "taking responsibility" doesn't mean much to me anymore. Don't take responsibility for doing and/or being caught at doing something stupid or wrong--don't do the thing you know is stupid or wrong.

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Nicole Richie admits that she is too thin. Duh! She says that she doesn't want young girls looking at her and thinking they should look like her. And yet, Skinny Jeans proudly showcases her in their jeans in the fashion rags and websites, with comments about how only really skinny people should wear them. Sigh.

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Doctor Who this week was creepy, scary, and cool. But it was a two-parter, dammit.

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It's Farmer's Market season! One of the best things about spring. Fresh bread, fresh asparagus, honey, plants, and pies. And me with my Longaberger Market Basket. It's a beautiful thing.

Get Your Motor Runnin'

I've been knitting all day at a workshop, so when I saw this story, I just had to put it in here. Look at what knitter/artist Theresa Honeywell did! She knitted a motorcycle!



Granted, my first reaction is, "Why?" But she really did an amazing job, don't cha think? The article about her says "her work reflects her interests in the 'manly arts' with a feminine twist." In the article, you can also see her knitted power tools and tool belt (although, I'm not really sure what all those tools where). She also has embroidered tattoos. Maybe that's what I should do since I'm such a weenie to get one for real?

Definitely someone who thinks outside the box. Makes my little sock I made today look down right shabby.

This Dog!

No more DentaStix for the DailyDog. I gave her one when I left the house, but she saved it until I got home. Instead of eating it in the house, she decided she wanted it al fresco. While it was raining, no less. That was bad enough; then it got worse.

She stayed out there quite a while. This isn’t so unusual, but I got tired of waiting at the door with a towel. So, I peeked my head outside, and there was my little drowned rat of a dog starring at me. She looked funny—not funny ha ha, funny weird. I called her in, but she didn’t move, just sat there, breathing through her mouth. This, also, isn’t unusual since she has congested heart failure and sometimes pants when she can’t get enough breath. But it just didn’t seem right. By the time I got my shoes on, she was coming inside. She rolled around on one towel while I rubbed her with another, but she was swatting at her mouth in a spastic way. What the hell? She did it again, and it was the frantic way she did it that scared me. I opened her mouth and saw that a chunk of the DentaStix had gotten lodged lengthwise across her upper jaw. Poor puppy! She relented and let me get it out for her (ew), then, of course, ate it (ew). Just scared the shit out of me.

So, now that I’m her savior, she’s a little clingy. She took her medicine (buried in peanut butter) and I brushed out all the wet tangles and dried her off as much as I could. She’s now asleep next to me on the couch. Poor puppy. She wore herself out.

Still Won't Watch The View

I'm a Rosie O'Donnell supporter, I admit that proudly. I know a lot of people think she lost it for a while, but I think that once she decided to stop trying to be what everyone thought she should be, her honesty scared a lot of people. She's a bit rabid in her politics, but so are a lot of people (Ann Coulter), who don't get nearly the personal attacks that Rosie does. But she's done so much for children--of all couples. And I still think she is basically a nice person. Not something I could say for a lot of other rabid politically influential mouthpieces (Ann Coulter).

But I still won't watch The View. She's taking over for Vieira, who is going to the Today Show. The View gets on my nerves. I've watched it a handful of times, but I don't even want to sit around a table with my best friends every day and pick apart what's going on the world--why would I want to watch it on tv. Especially with a bunch of women I don't particularly like. And the interviews are even worse. When Ralph Fiennes was on, Joy Behar asked him something like if he could go back in time would he kill Hitler or some weird thing like that. I guess since he was in Shindler's List he should have some keen insight or something.

And have they always gone on and on about Vieira's great news and journalism background? I know she has that background, but I didn't until she got the Today gig. Was she really supposed to be the "news" rock when Barbara Walter's couldn't be there? Or are they just trying to pump up her credentials for a news show like Today? Even though, most of the morning shows any more are nothing more than a vehicle to advertise other shows coming up on that network, usually their news programs.

Anyway, back to the original idea. Rosie seems like an odd choice. She'll bring in some ratings, maybe. She does have experience with talk shows, but it was her show. She's a pretty strong personality. I imagine they'll keep those cameramen busy jumping from one person to the other, as they all try to get a word in edgewise. But Rosie doesn't have that news and journalism background that they seem to think (now anyway) was what they needed and why they got Vieira.

Guess we'll see what happens. Well, you can, and let me know!

The Day After

Boy, New Belgium makes a good seasonal beer. All their beers are good, but Skinny Dip is excellent. It was like a blend of a hefeweissen and an IPA. Not too hoppy, but more hops than malt. But if you gulp it down, and you haven't been drinking much alcohol for say, oh 3 weeks, it goes right to your head. Then you say things like, "Chronicles of Narnia had great side effects." Oops.

I kept friends entertained all night at my favorite Irish Pub with statements like that. Plus, teasing me about being f-f-f-fourty gave everyone an opportunity to laugh. They tease because they love, or because I can take it, or both. Although buddy James outdid himself while they were singing Happy Birthday when he shouted out "She's 40!" instead of "Dear Kelley." That guy's a laugh riot, he is.

We ate our fish and chips, drank our beer, then had an ice cream cake with my favorite frozen custard--vanilla with swirls of caramel and pretzels. Sounds a little odd, but believe me, that sweet and salt combination is heaven! But that cake must have weighed 10 pounds, and I got a real upper body workout slicing the damn thing. They finally fired me from that duty and one of those strong manly men took over, after getting a glas of hot water to stick the knife in. Ice cream cakes slice much easier with a warm knife.

Just another little observation I made last night. Have you ever noticed that people who give you upbeat advice such as "age is just a state of mind" and "you are only as old as you feel" are younger than you? The only really depressing moment of an otherwise-enjoyable evenening was the moment that I realized I was the oldest person at the table. Up until that point, we all seemed around the same age; eventhough they were actaully a year or two younger. Well, shit.

And after last night, "old as I feel" is a scary thought. Think I'll get another cup of coffee and try to wake up some more.

Birthday Tips for Boyfriends and Husbands

My Hubby is the sweetest, most wonderful guy. And I know how lucky I am, even though I don't always say it. He's done the sweetest thing for my birthday, and I thought I'd share it because it's made this a special day for me.

Every hour or so he has me pick a number between 1 and 11. He consults a list, then says something like "you win a prize!" And he gives me a wrapped present with the number on it! Isn't this fun? He's so clever.

And the big gift? I said number 5, he consulted his list, and told me to check my email (first time today). So, I went to get my laptop and it's gone! There's a new PowerBook G4 in it's place!!! OK, I'm bragging, but I can't help it. No, I didn't need a new computer, but he decided I needed a faster one with a bigger hard drive for me to do my writing. The birthday card was Snoopy writing on his doghouse, and it said "A Birthday Wish for the Great Author." Supportive and generous all in one swoop.

And the day's not over yet. But I couldn't wait to write something about how when he's good, he's very, very good.

Book Review--Refuse to Choose

Refuse to Choose by self-help guru Barbara Sher can be a very useful book for many people. She fills a lot of white space in her book with emails by people who are grateful to her and are now living a happy and productive life because they have accepted that they are scanners and have figured out how to live that way.

Considering that Sher wrote several books explaining what a scanner is, I’m not sure I can do an adequate job here, but I’ll give it a try. As she says, “Unlike people who are satisfied with one area of interest, you’re genetically wired to pursue many areas . . .” Scanners have so many interests, they often don’t finish a project or become frozen because they have so many things they want to do that they do nothing, rather than decide. This is a pretty general description. It’s not as simple as just liking a lot of different things; it can be debilitating and confusing to always want to do something new, to get obsessed with something, just to get bored with it as soon as you get an understanding of it, or to feel that if you find that one thing you are supposed to be doing, then you’ll be happy. So, what’s a scanner to do?

According to Sher, the first step is to accept that you are a scanner, and that’s ok. Not everyone has that one calling or career, and that’s ok. Not everyone will understand what they perceive as your “flightiness,” and that’s ok, too. Sher spends over half the book with testimonials and supportive passages about how it is ok to be a scanner.

There are some exercises and suggestions of ways to take control of your scanner tendencies. A “Daybook” is a journal where you write out all your ideas, an outlet for all those “wants” in you. Another idea, a really good one, is to buy a bunch of ½-inch binders, and every time you have a new obsession, start a binder. It’s a place to put all your notes, your magazine clippings, printouts from your research, whatever you find on the subject. Have a passion for traveling to India? Now you have somewhere to put it all so that it’s always on hand. It’s a productive outlet that lends some credence to what other might see as a passing fancy.

The last part of the book takes specific kinds of scanners and gives ideas and suggestions for jobs. The focus is on being who you are and not trying to do something you don’t want to do. The best example is the woman who loved Africa and had given up her life there because she wanted to be near her ailing parents. So, as much as it broke her heart, she gave up Africa because her family was more important. It never occurred to her that she could still go back for short periods of time. She said she could never take that much time off from her job, which she hated by the way. So, Sher said, why not do temporary work? This was a light bulb moment for the woman who began to see a way she could have both important things in her life. She got a job teaching and spends her summers in Africa. It seems a simple solution, but scanners sometimes don’t see the simple solution because they think it has to be all or nothing.

Sher’s book has been helpful to many people. Her seminars and workshops have enlightened many scanners and helped them find their way. But now for the personal note. There’s one aspect that she doesn’t address, that personally, I need help with. What if you’re a weenie? The one characteristic that these scanners have that I don’t: they are a helluva lot braver than I am. They are willing to take whatever job just to learn. They are willing to network and talk to would-be employers just to find out what they would really need to do that job. At the end of the day, the scanner has to act, and unfortunately, you can’t read a book to teach you how to do that. And I don’t really think I’m a scanner. Oh, I have lots of interests, and I flit from one obsession to the next, and I do wish that I could find that one thing that I’m great at so that I could just focus on that one thing, but I really think I’m more of a “shadow artist” as described in The Artist’s Way. I enjoy different forms of arts, but work around it, rather than in it. For example, I would love to write, but I’ve always been an editor because I don’t think I’m much of a writer. I become a member of museums, even though I’d really love to be working in one. But, that’s another book review.

Refuse to Choose can be helpful to many, I’m sure. And I have my “Daybook” to write out my ideas about that bookstore and kitchen store and yarn shop and alpaca farm that I want to have one day. And I have a box of ½-inch binders just waiting to be filled with all those interests that I have—I just have to find all those clippings that I put away somewhere.

I'm a Little Late, but

But I just saw Chronicles of Narnia. Oh, how I wish I had seen this movie in the theater. It was amazing on my TV; I can only imagine how majestic it must have been on the big screen.

Based on C.S. Lewis’s novel, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, this movie is a breathtaking adaptation of the world Lewis created. Special effects, make up, and set design has come so far that it’s easy to get completely swept away in this movie. From the beginning when they’ve recreated the pain of children being sent into the country to keep them safe from the horrors of war to the snow and cold of the White Witch’s world, it’s completely believable.

The performances are really quite impressive. All the kids are good, but Georgie Henley as Lucy is outstanding. She’s wise beyond her years and has a maturity you don’t often see in movies, even by actresses much older than she. Her scenes with James McAvoy, who plays Tumnus the Fawn are subtle and sweet. Then there is Tilda Swinton as the White Witch, who is just chilling, no pun intended. Director Andrew Adamson really did an amazing job balancing these performances with such amazing effects, so that neither one is overwhelmed or underwhelmed by the other.

I think one of the reasons I, in the end, didn’t see this movie in the theater was because every time I heard something about it, there was always a focus on it’s Christian values and overtones. I felt that I was being told that I have to see all that, or I wouldn’t appropriately appreciate it. But CS Lewis said he didn’t write the books as an analogy of Christianity (at least I think he said that). Yes, you could make that argument, and the sacrifice is a classic Christian analogy. Maybe I’m just not a good enough Christian, but I didn’t see anything else besides that. Not that I was looking because I was too lost in this gorgeous movie.

So, if you haven’t seen it, see it. It’s great film-making.

It's Just a Dummy

I went in for highlights and a trim a couple of days ago. I was surprised to find most of the hair dressers standing in one area with mannequin heads bolted to the arms of chairs. They were having a "cutting class" with the representative of one of the products they carry, I think it was Aquage. Anyway, it was fascinating watching them and listening to them.

"Start at the oscipital lobe and follow a line down at a 45 degree angle." I would need a protractor to know what the hell a 45 degree angle looked like, But they all used their thinning razor and created these very fashionable short haircuts. I would have loved to have that style, but these heads all had straight, long hair, which I do not.

While my hairdresser, Katie, was folding thin layers of painted hair into aluminum foil, I talked about how it was so much more technical that I thought and about what difficulties she faces, the number one being the client who comes in with a celebrity photo and she wants that hair, when really she wants to be that celebrity. About this time, one of the hairdressers unbolted her head and started shaking it like she was trying to get the mercury down in a thermometer.

"Don't you wish you could do that to your clients sometimes," I said. Another hairdresser hung the head upside down while she wet it down with a spray bottle. I laughed at the irony that they were learning a technique for cutting hair but doing something they would never be able to do to a real client.

Sure was a cute cut, though. Not an everyday cut, mind you, but what's the fun in having the same style every day?

A Curly-Coated Baby?

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes named their baby Suri? I don't know about ancient Hebrew, but I do know that Suri is a type of alplaca. A beautifully soft, long-haired alpaca. Arent' they cute?