Friday, June 30, 2006

No Way! Women Have Affairs?

Would you believe that there are actually married women out there who have had or are having affairs? You’d think by the article in Newsweek and the Oprah show today, that no one ever thought that it was possible for a wife to go out and have an affair.

In The New Infidelity Newsweek writers, obviously watching too much Desperate Housewives and deciding to capitalize on it, have decided that the love lives of lonely and underappreciated women is actually news. Oprah thinks it so much so that she had a show on it today, which I admit I watched. I hardly ever watch Oprah—just when she’s got someone famous I like on—but what the hell? I thought the show was about swingers, which for some reason I just find fascinating. I mean, I don’t share well others, so I’m just amazed at couples who share something so personal with people who are basically strangers! One of the couples said it made their sex lives better—like vacation sex all the time. Oprah and I both raised our eyebrows. I know we were thinking the same thing, “Really? Vacation sex all the time? Cool.”

But I digress. The first part of the show was about this article in Newsweek that “blew the lid off this story,” saying an estimated 15 percent of women cheat on their husbands. And they’ve decided they know why it’s happening, which you can see in the subtitle to the article: “Why they stray: With the work place and the Internet, overscheduled lives and inattentive husbands—it's no wonder more American women are looking for comfort in the arms of another man.” Notice what’s mentioned first? That’s right boys and girls, women working is one of the causes for wifely infidelity. It’s not the bored housewife, it’s those women in the workplace! See how terrible it is when women leave the home to go work!?!

But you know, they just might be on to something. Here’s what one therapist said:

There's a more subtle point embedded in here as well: women and men bring their best selves to work, leaving their bad behavior and marital resentments at home with their dirty sweatpants. At work, "we dress nicely. We think before we speak. We're poised," says Elana Katz, a therapist in private practice and a divorce mediator at the Ackerman Institute for the Family in New York City.

That’s true. At work I felt like a problem-solver, respected for my intelligence and skills. But many, many times at home I felt like I couldn’t do anything right, criticized because the house wasn’t clean enough and I didn’t have anything planned for dinner. Now, my husband and I have pretty much worked through that, and I never considered having an affair, but I’ve seen it happen to friends.

Anyway, after talking about women having affairs and couples swinging to keep their marriage healthy, Oprah stated that the definition of marriage is obviously changing. Ya think so? If the majority of red states and the droves of people who came out to vote against gay marriages is any indication, I’d say, if anything, there is a push for conservatively traditional marriage.

And I’ll tell ya what I tell my husband. Everything that I do that drives him crazy, other women do the same thing, so he might as well stay with me. And considering how many of our male friends have divorced their wives, just to remarry a woman who could be their first wife’s sister, he might as well stay with me. Besides, supposedly, as I enter into my 40s, I’m in for a boost of sexual prowess, and he doesn’t want to miss that!


Jay said...

1. That 15% number of women who cheat is low, VERY low. There have been lots of studies showing women are almost as likely as men to cheat. Especially younger women.

2. The problem I have with with most discussions about cheating is that first they talk about how men are just dogs and born cheaters. Then, when it comes time to talk about women who cheat, it's usually because men are horrible human beings and it's all the husband's fault.

Not to mention the fact that Hollywood most definately sensationalizes and celebrates cheating. Both men and women. But, that is a discussion for another day.

I've seen shows where they interview swingers too. I can't believe it's all that great to honest with you. It seems like it would take it's toll on a person emotionally.

Kell said...

Actually, they did talk about the double standard on Oprah about how a man is a dog for having an affair but a woman feels justified.

saz said...

Hmmm - when I worked full time I wouldn't have had the time or the energy.

Kell said...

Yeah, these women seem to have a lot more energy than I do, that's for sure.

saz said...

Kell - I have to admit....I'm still stuck way back on your popcorn MIGHT be the day. Have not been able to get popcorn off my brain since you did that post!!!!

Kell said...

Guess what I'm eating as I update with my latest post!