We have good friends coming in this week for a funeral. She was planning to come visit me to check on a house they own here, and we were planning to hit our favorites restaurants and bars and bookstores. Plans have changed a little, but we’ll still hit the Dell (our favorite pub) to have a drink for their friend. And I imagine she and I will stay up all night talking and gabbing, which our husbands just shake their head at. How do we find stuff to talk about for so long? Poor guys. It’s a mystery, I know.
Their friend committed suicide. I have personal experience with this, so I was quick to offer them a place to stay and a place to vent all the anger and guilt that come with this experience. It’s so hard to know what to say, so I usually don’t say anything except, “I’m sorry for your loss.” And I warned her that someone is going to say something really inappropriate and that will really piss her off. It’s inevitable at a funeral.
And that reminded me about a guy I met at the party Friday night who had some real words of wisdom in a drunken lecture. We had gotten on the subject of funerals (I don’t remember how), and he went off about the horrible things that people will say. He told all of us (and Mom, you might want to cover your ears at this point) that if you don’t know what to say, don’t say fuckin’ anything. The rest of lecture went, “Just don’t say anything! Don’t try to fuckin’ elaborate or say something else, just don’t say anything besides, ‘I’m sorry.’ It’s like the fuckin’ birthday cards. Everyone tries to write something so meaningful, but ya know what I write on birthday cards? ‘Happy Fuckin’ Birthday’ that’s what. What else do you need?”
So, my friends and family should be prepared for a new slant on birthday cards from me!