Blather

My hubby sent me an email with the message “A knitting project I can handle.” Eagerly, I open the link to this:



Yes, they’re breasts. This is serious, though! A hospital in Liverpool is using them to teach breast feeding. They are a lot cheaper to make then buying a model, especially since they need something like 50. I think it would be a hoot. Maybe I can find the pattern somewhere.

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I’m taking control of the whole diet thing again. I signed up for a Winter Weigh Down sponsored at the base. It’s a competition thing with groups, but our group doesn’t seem to care about that—we just want help loosing weight and getting in better shape.

As is typical of the military, the program that they bought has now gone out of business, but we’re sticking with it. It’s a calorie-counting program, but instead it’s through portion size. So, my sample meal plan has how many servings of things I can have, equating that if I eat the proper portion, I’ll thereby eat the proper calories. So, my plan looks something like:

Breakfast:
1 Fruit
2 Breads or Starches
1 Milk or yogurt

Then I go to the Exchange List book, look up the ingredient, say Bread, and pick from this list, which says ¼ of a bagel is 1 serving or 2 slices of reduced-calorie bread, things like that. Then I have to write it down in my food diary because they take those up every 2 weeks and give us points for the good things we do and take points away for the bad.

We also have to keep track of fats; we get 40 grams a day.

It’s all very confusing and overwhelming right now and seems to be a lot more work than I want to do. But I’m stuck and haven’t lost any more weight since before Christmas, so I need a kick in the tush to get going again. And considering how good I felt while I was taking care of myself and how rotten I’ve felt this year while I wasn’t, I definitely need to take some control back.

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My mantra now is “I’m feeling better; I’m feeling better; I’m really feeling better.” And I am. I bought groceries and am cleaning the house is spurts. I can’t believe how much I’m enjoy cleaning. Things had just gotten so cluttered, which is usual for my house, but the clutter is hiding things that should have or need to be done, like paying the electric bill. It would be a good idea to pay the electric bill.

There is one side effect that seems to be hanging on, though, the irritability. Spittin’ nails, clinching jaw and fists, and a constant chewing on the inside of my lips kind of irritability. I’m trying to harness it. You know, sit still and breathe for a while, do some stretching exercises, knit, and drink herbal tea. I’m going to OD on chamomile tea! Actually the knitting is soothing because it’s so repetitive and flowing in a nice Zen-kind of way.

But here’s the problem, and this will give you yet another peak into the neurosis of a woman who we already agree should probably be in therapy. The more I try to calm down and clear my mind, the more stuff gets back in there that just upsets me again! And it’s stupid stuff, like hurtful things that some woman said to me 3 years ago. I realized that I was grumbling a response I wish I had said all those years ago as I was vacuuming. Or I’m thinking of something Al said and now it makes me mad and I wish I had said blah, blah, blah, blah, and he tries, but he just doesn’t understand, and nothing I ever do is good enough. Aarrrrrggghh! I know it’s irrational, but the feelings feel real, so it’s hard to just push them aside.

So, I’m going to finish up the cleaning downstairs, pay the bills, make yet another pot of tea, then sit back and enjoy my accomplishments for the day.

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BTW, we had maybe an inch of snow yesterday, but there was Al, blowin’ it away with our big-ass 6-speed, 2-reverse speeds snow blower *insert Tim Allen “ARR ARR ARR” grunts here*