Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Here We Go Again

And yet, another 25. I'm not sure how much longer this can go on! So, for now, here's another 25.

101. I love mission style furniture but think it can be a little stark and uncomfortable. So, I pair it up with something comfy like a poofy chair.
102. I watch a lot of the decorating shows, but I’m not very good at that kind of thing.
103. It’s the same with picking out clothes. If it’s not already an outfit, I can’t put it together. I miss the ease of Garanimals.
104. In February 2006, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.
105. I always do well on my neurological exams, and I have comparatively subtle symptoms, but the spinal tap came back positive on the 2 tests they run for MS, everything else they tested for was negative.
106. I’ve had many people compliment me on how “strong” I am, but that’s because that’s the face I put out there. Actually, I’m very tired of being strong. I’m not all that strong anyway, it’s just something I have to do.
107. I give myself a shot every week, and it’s never that easy. My husband offers to give me the shot but that scares me more! I need to be the one in control of this.
108. The learning curve of this disease is way too long. I’m constantly questioning any little pain I have, and I’m hoping that fear goes away pretty damn soon.
109. I hate having my blood drawn because I have these tiny veins that roll. I keep telling people—I’m delicate!
110. The scariest symptom I have is some cognitive problems. There are days I can’t type words correctly and I can’t remember a word I’m desperately searching for. I just lose words, and my thinking process slows down. Luckily, it’s not all that often. I usually just write it off as getting older.
111. Being diagnosed is another event that makes me relieved I didn’t have children.
112. I can count on one hand the number of times I thought I wanted children; I’ve never been that keen on it.
113. I like kids. I do OK with kids, but the idea of 24-hour responsibility for the rest of my life terrifies me.
114. You wouldn’t believe the things women with children will say to me: But you’d be such a great Mom; Aren’t you afraid of being alone in your old age; Is it a medical problem that you can’t have children; Well, you have all that free time because you don’t have kids; What do you do all day since you don’t have kids and don’t work; You’re right not have kids because you don’t have enough patience (this last one while her little darlin’ was screaming in the back seat and I was about to jump out of the car).
115. My parents split up when I was in 3rd grade, and I never felt close to my dad until I was adult, but not that close even then.
116. I told my husband before we got married that I wasn’t putting a child through what I went through with my dad, so unless he could promise me that he would be everything to our children, to the point that I was jealous of how close they were, I wasn’t having children with him.
117. In May 1997, my husband was diagnosed with Testicular Cancer. It was a stage IIIB, which a is a pretty scary stage.
118. It was a rough 4 months of chemo and surgeries and recovery, but he’s healthy and we’re both stronger. Our relationship got even stronger during this time.
119. My husband says he has no privacy any more because I’ll talk about almost anything, even concerning him. But I think it’s encouraging to know someone survived cancer or lives happily with a chronic disease.
120. I have the coolest grandmother ever—Nana Creta. She’s in her late 80s and still drives herself to the beauty shop and lives on her own, comfortably. I really hope I inherited her genes.
121. For Christmas last year, my Nana gave me a scrapbook of family pictures, and she labeled them! So, I have pictures of my dad and the family when they were kids.
122. I tend to “mother” my mother. I was getting a little out of control, though, so I decided I should let her be and find a balance.
123. I love Thanksgiving because I love to cook Thanksgiving dinner as I watch the Macy’s parade.
124. I get very cranky around the end of July until well into September because I don’t like excessively hot summers. For the last 7 years, I’ve lived places that have over 100-degree summers.
125. October is my favorite month. It’s the beginning of the holidays for me since I like Halloween so much. We have a pumpkin-carving party at our house and put all the pumpkins out of the front porch to take pictures. What a blast!

4 comments:

Newt said...

Another fabulous instalment of your 25.
We met a couple this past weekend that, like us, decided not to have kids. It was fun to joke about all those same things you mentioned. I've even heard "Why bother living if you aren't going to have kids"
It's encouraging to hear about what you and your husband have survived and been strengthened by. The two of you are an inspiration.

saz said...

#119 - I think it's wonderful that you share this. It does give people hope that they can come thru difficult times and thrive.

More please about your Nana Creta....

F&W said...

I love these lists!

Oh! Finally -- a fellow female who's not baby crazy! :o) Brent and I are choosing not to have children and we have also been critized, ostresized, teased, questioned, and bothered. I've come *very* close to telling some nosy women that it's none of their damn business! Whew. That felt good.

I love October too! Halloween is, by far, my fave holiday and it's the start of all the yummy, cozy, fall clothes. Sweaters, courderoy, denim, wool. Yay!

Kell said...

newt and chelle--I tell myself that the people who say those things mean well, and some do, but it's still hard for them to understand a woman not wanting a baby.

saz--I'm working on that! She's really amazing.