Later

I'm taking a break from blogging. I like reading other people's blogs but not writing on my own, so I'm gonna stop for awhile.

Thanks for stopping by.

A New Day

I'm in the house by myself for the first time since Daily passed away. And I'm doing OK because as some told me, the good memories are taking the place of the sadness.

I'm keeping busy by surfing the net. Yes, there are many other things I could be doing, but what the hell. Jay read his horoscope and put it on his blog. Jay checked his horoscope? That alone is newsworthy. I haven't looked at mine in a while, so I went to yahoo first. One of the nice things about horescopes is that if you don't like one, go find another source, it might be better. So, here's what Yahoo said about me today:

Something fresh and lovely wants to enter your personal life, but first you need to make room for it. Sweep away some old patterns. Get rid of any mental junk. It's time to dump the old. Welcome the new.

Now, this is significant because I got an email from the lady we got Daily from and she said she'll have puppies in the fall and she'll give us one. Of course, I'm ready for another dog right now--actually, I want 2 more dogs. But Hubby is pretty heartbroken and said he doesn't want another pet, ever ever ever. Maybe that horoscope was meant for him. Maybe they mixed up Taurus and Leo today.

So, just for fun, what does my horoscope in our local paper say?

(A 3-star day!) Move slowly this morning. You don't need or want a flub-up. Instinctiveness plays a role with a partner. This afternoon, emphasize what you want. Expect to have excellent results--if not now, ultimately. Tonight: As you like.

Hmmmmmm. I could make a case that it pertains to getting another dog. That's the other nice thing about horoscopes, you can make them fit the way you want them to.

And just for the helluvit, here's what Horoscope.com says:

With a strong aspect between your ruling planet and the moon you are likely to be somewhat preoccupied and a little air-headed today. The lack of earth energy at the moment won’t help, nor will the likely romantic distractions. However, having some amethyst or clear quartz will help you focus.

Huh? So, I'm a ditz today and even Hubby making the moves on me won't help take my mind off things. Well, we'll see about that! I don't have any amethyst, but I saw a beautiful amethyst ring at the mall. Do you think shopping will increase my earth energy?

So many things to think about. But first, coffee. I've been up for hours and haven't had coffee. I think that will help my earth energy, too.

Well, That's Odd

This is just too weird to not to comment on. Axel Rose and Tommy Hilfiger got into a fight at a party.

First of all, Axel Rose is still alive and walking around?

The fight apparently was started by Hilfiger, who punched Rose for moving his girlfriend's drink. OK, second of all, Tommy Hilfiger has a girlfriend?

Rose was at the club to play a surprise gig for Rosario Dawson's 27th birthday. So, third of all, Rose is so hard up that he has to take birthday gigs? Will bar mitzvahs be far behind?

Another Thing To Keep Me Busy

My pen pal in England sent me this though email, so what the heck, I'll put it here.

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Library Aide
2. Senior Editor
3. Editorial Assistant
4. Teacher

Four movies I would watch over and over:

1. Harry Potter movies
2. Chocolate
3. The Princess Bride
4. Shaun of the Dead


Four places I have lived:

1. Harrison, AR
2. Shreveport, LA
3. Rome, NY
4. Pensacola, FL

Four TV shows I love to watch:

1. Dr. Who (the new one with Christopher Eccelston)
2. House
3. Midsomer Murders
4. Project Runway


Four places I have been on holiday:

1. Scotland
2. England
3. Germany
4. Toronto Canada

Four of my favourite foods:

1. Indian food
2. fruit pies
3. Mongolian BBQ
4. Anything fried


Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Scotland
2. Scotland
3. Scotland
4. Scotland

Hey Jay! If you need something to blog, you're tagged.

Thank You

Thank all of you for your kind words of support. The vet's office even sent us flowers. We miss Daily something awful, but I know we did the right thing.

I've been watching some movies we made of her a year ago while we lived in Ohio. Oh my God she was so sick these last few months. The dog in those movies isn't the poor little dog that was living in my home. It doesn't ease the pain or make me miss her any less, but at least I feel that we did what was best for our poor puppy.

So, what do you do to keep your mind off of the sadness that you're feeling?

1. Clean the house and pack away Daily's things. I'll keep most of the toys and things in case we get another dog, but I'm giving her towels, blankets and her bed to the humane society.

2. Plant the herbs that have been sitting on my table for a week.

3. Eat, eat and still more eating. Comfort foods are good--mashed potatoes, ice cream.

4. I would drink, but that damn medication I'm on keeps me from having too much.

5. Drive around town.

6. Go to the gym--you know I'm desperate now!

7. Spend an evening with friends.

8. Watch tv because the silence in the house is about to drive me completely over the bend.

9. Watch movies of the dog to kickstart the happy memories.

Thanks again everyone.

Be at Peace

It was time. By this morning, Daily wasn't eating or drinking. And she couldn't sit up on her own for very long. She's not suffering any longer. And although I am glad for that, I miss her so very much. My DailyDog. Here's one of the last pictures of her, before her health turned for the worse. She was still able to jump up onto "her" couch.

When Is It Time?

This is going to be sad. It's always sad when a much-loved pet is sick. I'm sorry about this, but I don't have an outlet for this confusion I'm feeling and it might help to write it out.

My dog, Daily, has congestive heart failure. She's 11, and the heart failure has slowly been getting worse since her diagnosis in the summer of 2004. Right now, on her latest x-ray a couple of weeks ago, her heart is huge--the size of a softball. It's so large her lungs aren't as visible because they have been pressed against the sides of her chest and her trachia has been pushed up almost parallel with her spine. As I type this, she's panting, taking short shallow breaths and looking up at me with her brown eyes that I can see all too clearly since she was groomed a few weeks ago. When I pet her, I can feel the bones in her shoulders, her back, and her bottom, but her stomach is large and round because the fluid from her lungs has seeped into her abdomen. She can't jump up on the couch with me any more, and I've even helped her up the steps into the house. Her tongue and gums are pale to light pink. She's on the max medication. All signs of a very sick dog who may be suffering.

So, here's the hard part. She's still eating, although not as much or as regularly as before. And if she's offered jerky or treats, she happily wags her tail and accepts them. She's still drinking. She's still urinating and everything else she needs to do by taking herself outside through the doggie door. She still sits up and wags her tail when we walk into a room, and even greets us at the door sometimes when we return home. All signs of a dog who is going downhill, but still maybe having a viable life.

Everyone tells me that I'll know when it's time to make the decision to put her down. She's not going to pass away in her sleep--the vet said that rarely happens. It's the way we want it to happen, but it just doesn't. He admitted that every time we bring her in for a problem, he wonders if this is the time he's going to have to have "the talk" with us. But when she's at the vet, the adrenaline kicks in, and she's almost perky. Hubby thinks I'm obsessing and thinking about it too much. "She's fine," he says. He's waiting for her to pass out--that seems to be the final sign for him. The vet says that she'll get dispondent where nothing will interest her. We're not at that point yet.

She's staring at me because she wants something. What does she need? It's so easy to give human feelings to that canine face. I think she's looking at me saying, "Help me! Can't you see I'm having trouble breathing here!" But then I'll ask, "Wanna cookie?" And her ears perk up and her tail wags. So, I give her a cookie.

She's my dog, my responsibility. The love she has brought to my family has been immeasurable, and I don't want to fail her now. But if it's not really time, am I just trying to get something really painful over with? Am I really seeing things worse because I'm so afraid that I'll let her suffer too long?

She's inching closer to me, dragging her heavy hind quarters. "Do you want a cookie?" Ears perk up, stops panting, wags her tail. I think that means "Yes."

Got Tagged.

Cool. Something different to do on the ol' blog. Got tagged by Jay, so here it goes.


I AM more than I let people know or see.

I WANT to achieve rather than dream.

I WISH Jay realized that he is really talented.

I MISS the thrill of watching cartoons on a Saturday morning.

I HEAR my dog breathing as she's sleeping on the couch next to me.

I WONDER wonder who badoo oo who. Who wrote the book of love.

I REGRET that I didn't call my dad on New Years Eve, 1996.

I AM NOT going to dwell on what I'm not.

I DANCE so much less than I used to. And that makes me sad.

I AM NOT ALWAYS as nice as people think I am.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS knitted-with-love items for my friends and family.

I WRITE not nearly as much as I think about writing.

I CONFUSE silence with disapproval.

I NEED to stop being afraid.

I SHOULD be in Scotland, writing while tending my sheep in the Highlands, after having a beer with Ian Rankin at the Oxford Bar in Edinburgh.

I START new projects almost every day.

I FINISH nary a project.

I TAG Betty.

I'm a Bookaholic.

And I can't stop myself. I have several books I'm trying to read right now, and at the rate I'm going, I won't finish any of them! Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I just be interested in one subject at a time so that I can read a book, then move on to another?

Why do I keep going to the library and getting armloads of books that I'm just going to have to return unread? It's not that I don't want to read them, I just hate having that due date looming over me. I feel like I'm being forced to read that book, so, of course, my Taurus stubborness says, "Maybe I don't want to read that right now. Maybe I want to read this paperback that's been sitting in my bookcase forever." But, I'm just as bad at the bookstore--buying books that I'm so excited about, then they just sit on the shelf. It's as if, now that I have it, I don't want it any more. How fickle.

So, which should I be reading right now? Should I go back to The Geographer's Library, which I put down while I reread The Dogs of Bedlam Farm. Or, I have the latest Jon Katz book on training dogs, and since I looooooved The Dogs of Bedlam Farm, I'm kind of on a dog kick. But, I'm also on another mystery kick, since I started the latest Rebus mystery on my list(I'm working my way through all of them). I started that one while on the stationary bike at the gym. And I have two Sherlock Holmes-inspired books: The Italian Secretary by Caleb Carr, which is a new Holmes mysters, and Arthur and George by Julian Barnes, which is about Arthur Conan Doyle in a real-life mystery.

Of course, I won't get anything read if I don't close this laptop. It just sucks me in, and before I know it, the hours I could have spent reading one of those library books was spent looking for the latest info on the Harry Potter movies, gossip at E!, and catching up on some blogs.

Oh well. Maybe I'll just knit instead.

Brrrrrr.

It’s the middle of May and I still have the space heater on keeping my feet warm! We didn’t have a very cold winter, and now we seem to be having an unusually cool spring. The highs have been in the low 60s and the lows have been in the low 40s. What’s up with that?

But the good news is that since it’s so cool, I’m still in jeans and slacks, so I don’t have to shave my legs! There’s always a bright side.

Cell Phones Are A Tool of the Devil

And they are slowly devouring our souls. I know, I know, “but I neeeeeeeed them for an emergency! What if my (mother, father, child, lover, second-cousin-twice-removed) calls?” We survived years, years I say, without cell phones. Now we can’t seem to go 30 minutes without a fix.

Case in point: We’re having dry wall repairs done in our house. Little leak in a pipe left a big hole; actually, 3 big holes because the plumber went looking for the leak. Great dry waller—seems to be doing an excellent job. He’s been here 3 hours and he’s not done. I don’t have a problem with how long something like this takes because I want it done right. But he could work faster if one of his hands wasn’t holding onto his cell phone while he talked to a girlfriend, daughter, lover, somebody about how he doesn’t want to invade her space!! Sheesh! People! Get a grip!

Now, I admit to a bias. I hate all phones, not just cell phones. I was the only teenage girl who didn’t spend hours on the phone. As a matter of fact, I hate talking on the phone, always have. And if I have to talk to someone I don’t know, I break out into a cold sweat and get all shaky. I have to write out what I’ll say because I get tongue-tied if I don’t. Hell, I get tongue-tied if I do! So, it’s not surprising that I think cell phones are evil. It’s bad enough to have a phone in my house for veterans and police to ask for money, now I’m supposed to carry a phone with me when I’m gleefully away from my home phone? So that people I don’t want to talk to can get hold of me anyway? That’s just wrong.

However, I do have a cell phone, and it really is for emergency use. Anyone who knows me can attest to that because my cell phone is never on. I don’t even know my cell phone number. My fear of my car breaking down is stronger than my hatred of cell phones, so I’ve given in.

But, really. If I was working at your house, I wouldn’t ask to use your phone to make personal calls. Nor would I give my friends and family your number so that they could call me at your home. It’s rude and unprofessional, but we don’t seem to blink an eye when it comes to cell phones.

Cast out the evil and live forth in sunshine and the beautiful sounds of birds and traffic and silence and whistling and music. And not the trilling, electronic sounds of musical ringers and other people's conversations.

Just One More Thing

I can't stop thinking about that article, and I have one more thing to say.

There was one particular quote near the beginning of the article that has stuck with me:

. . . Judie Brown, president of the American Life League, an organization that has battled abortion for 27 years but that, like others, now has a larger mission. "The mind-set that invites a couple to use contraception is an antichild mind-set," she told me.

That's a bit of a leap, don't ya think? I mean, I take contraception pills because I don't want to have children. I have my reasons for that, none that I'm willing or ready to share with everyone here, but I have my reasons. And none of those are that I am antichildren. She makes me sound like the cold-hearted Baroness Bomburst in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang who sends out the Child Catcher.

Does my using contraception make me an unethical, morally depleted non-Christian? No. Does my using contraception mean that I hate children? No. Does my using contraception mean that I must be branded with a giant "C" on my forhead for being contraceptively childless? No.

And by their definition, even if I use the rythm method, isn't that a forced form of abortion since I'm not allowing my body to be available during times in which I could conceive? And since during breast feeding the body will naturally not let an egg implant, thereby not allowing the body to become pregnant, should women not be allowed to breast feed? You see how silly this all quickly becomes?

And one snide comment, just for good measure. I'm not taking anything a woman who spells Judy with an "ie" seriously.

And The Real Intentions Are Revealed

Jay has said that not only are conservatives wanting to stop a woman's right to chose, but they want total control, including how and when we have sex and who we have sex with. I was hoping he was just being a little paranoid and exaggerating. But today, in the New York Times Magazine is an artilce titled, "Contra-Contraception." It's about the conservative and Chritian-right wanting to take away contraception because it is a form of abortion and encourages promiscuity outside of marriage.

Here's one of the money quotes.

Many Christians who are active in the evolving anti-birth-control arena state frankly that what links their efforts is a religious commitment to altering the moral landscape of the country. In particular, and not to put too fine a point on it, they want to change the way Americans have sex. Dr. Stanford, the F.D.A. adviser on reproductive-health drugs, proclaimed himself "fully committed to promoting an understanding of human sexuality and procreation radically at odds with the prevailing views and practices of our contemporary culture."

Of course, the Morning After pill has come under fire--a thunderbolt of Christian anger to destroy wrong-doers. But when Plan B, a different kind of pill that acts more like a birth control pill, meaning that it keeps a maybe-fertilized egg from implanting, which is the legal definition of pregnancy, it seemed like a win-win situation. But the religios right still saw it as an abortion because they don't like the definition of what constitutes pregnancy, meaning that they believe an egg that has been fertilized is the beginning; therefore, Plan B stopped the pregnancy from occurring. So, if you're going to believe that, then all forms of contraceptives are abortion tools. Plan B was shot down. No one could get a straight answer out of Bush, of course, even though federal regulations under the Bush Administration state, ""Pregnancy encompasses the period of time from implantation until delivery." But here's Bush's response, or nonresponse:

At a White House press briefing in May of last year, three months before the F.D.A.'s nonruling on Plan B, Press Secretary Scott McClellan was asked four times by a WorldNetDaily correspondent, Les Kinsolving, if the president supported contraception. "I think the president's views are very clear when it comes to building a culture of life," McClellan replied.

Intersting how that word "culture" keeps coming up by the same people with the same political agenda, huh?

But it wasn't just that this pill and other contraceptives are really abortions. There's also the belief that the availability will just result in promiscuity. Here's another money quote:

Meanwhile a government report later found that Dr. Janet Woodcock, deputy commissioner for operations at the F.D.A., had also expressed a fear that making the drug available over the counter could lead to "extreme promiscuous behaviors such as the medication taking on an 'urban legend' status that would lead adolescents to form sex-based cults centered around the use of Plan B."

Oh good grief! Sex-based cults? Give me a break. They are ignoring a basic fact--humans want to have sex, and they don't need a pill to give them permission. By the logic of the religious right, if there wasn't any form of contraception, all these people who are unfaithful to their spouses and engage in illicit sex will all of a sudden become moral, upright citizens who only have sex in the missionary position with their spouses. But, don't worry about all those influences out there that might encourage people to have sex, such as pornography, tv shows, movies, and that ol' standby human nature, let's just make sure that the possibility of pregnancy isn't stopped.

There's a lot more to the article; it's 9 pages after all. It also goes into the fact that other countries don't have our hang ups and their abortion and unwanted pregnency rates are lower than ours--always a point of contention for the right-wingers. Of course, all those countries aren't trying to encourage a "culture of life."

Ramblin'

Daily had another trip to the vet. Her stomach is distended, and although I was pretty sure it was fluid from her congested heart failure, the vet wanted to see her to make sure it wasn't bloat. It's fluid. Poor puppy can't jump up on the couch without help because her tummy is so big. She's on more Lasix, but the vet thinks we need to realize that it could be sooner rather than later that we'll have to think about putting her down. I'm amazed that I can even think about this, but I guess it's because I know it's not going to be too soon. She still wants to go for walks and she still eats her food (less than before, but she eats), so she's still hanging in there with us.

...

We've been social butterflies lately. Two parties in 3 days! And although it was fun to get out and meet new people and see old friends, it's just not as much fun being the only sober person when everyone else around you is all abuzz. But then again, being sober, I had some good laughs. And you know what? Apparently, homemade biscotti that was good early in the evening is "Aaaaahhhh oooooohhhhh soooooooo gooooooood. The beeeesssssttt cooooooookieeeeee everrrrrrrr" about 4 hours and 5 glasses of wine later.

...

US Rep. Patrick Kennedy is entering a rehabilitation program (his second try). His dad, Teddy, said he's proud of his son for "taking responsibility." They always take responsibility after they get caught. And "taking responsibility" doesn't mean much to me anymore. Don't take responsibility for doing and/or being caught at doing something stupid or wrong--don't do the thing you know is stupid or wrong.

...

Nicole Richie admits that she is too thin. Duh! She says that she doesn't want young girls looking at her and thinking they should look like her. And yet, Skinny Jeans proudly showcases her in their jeans in the fashion rags and websites, with comments about how only really skinny people should wear them. Sigh.

...

Doctor Who this week was creepy, scary, and cool. But it was a two-parter, dammit.

...

It's Farmer's Market season! One of the best things about spring. Fresh bread, fresh asparagus, honey, plants, and pies. And me with my Longaberger Market Basket. It's a beautiful thing.

Get Your Motor Runnin'

I've been knitting all day at a workshop, so when I saw this story, I just had to put it in here. Look at what knitter/artist Theresa Honeywell did! She knitted a motorcycle!



Granted, my first reaction is, "Why?" But she really did an amazing job, don't cha think? The article about her says "her work reflects her interests in the 'manly arts' with a feminine twist." In the article, you can also see her knitted power tools and tool belt (although, I'm not really sure what all those tools where). She also has embroidered tattoos. Maybe that's what I should do since I'm such a weenie to get one for real?

Definitely someone who thinks outside the box. Makes my little sock I made today look down right shabby.