Withdrawls

Two more weeks of the Winter Weigh Down program at the base hospital. One more weigh-in, then they’re going to cut us lose. They’ve given us the sample menu, the food diary know-how to keep track of what little calories we’re allowed in a day, the pages and pages of what to have instead of that cookie or those chips, and the calorie-counting cards that tell us how many calories and how much fat is in fast food, so as to scare us off forever. All of us in our group have done very well sticking to the plan, writing everything down, making good choices, eating the correct portion size, and it shows in our weight loss.

But I just have one question. How the hell do skinny people eat like this all the time?!? I’m going to turn in to a freakin’ carrot. Healthy schmealthy, I want a hamburger and a sugar cookie with a bunch of gooey icing on it.

You know, I might feel differently if after losing almost 30 pounds in the last year someone would say, “Wow! How much weight have you lost? You look great!” But no. Doesn’t happen. My friend M that I’m doing this with said that the nutritionist that she’s been working with was deliriously happy to tell M that she has lost enough weight that she was no longer morbidly obese and she was now just obese. There’s a compliment in there somewhere.

They had someone from Life Skills come talk to us about the psychological side of weight loss—how to stay focused and on target. So, I asked him “I’ve read that I should reward myself for my short term goals that I achieve. But a reward to me would be food, like cheesecake. So, how do I overcome that first thought being for food?” He said that I could have that cheesecake, just not to overdo it. And another lady turned around to me and said, “You’ll get to where you just don’t want that because you’re changing your lifestyle.” Uh huh. OK. But no one would tell an alcoholic that she could have that beer, just don’t over do it. That’s extreme, but you’ve never seen me at a bakery. He just didn’t want to come out and tell me that it all comes down to me making that decision. I hate all that personal accountability stuff.

But one of the ladies at my table understood me. She said that she just can’t stop herself from eating ice cream. She loves it, it satisfies something in her, and she can’t seem to only have it in moderation. The guy from Life Skills said that she should just look in the mirror and admire how good she’s looking and think about how she wants to look even better and that can be her encouragement.

Him: “What do you say when you look in the mirror?”
Her: “Hi Mom! When did you get here?”

It would probably help if I would stop watching Food Network all the time. It seems that every time I turn it on, they are focusing on sweets or fried foods. Al says I’m the person advertisers live for—I’m so suggestible.

Actually, Food Network is on right now. They’re going to make sweet potato cheesecake. Oh dear. Hey, that would be a healthy choice, right? Sweet potatoes are a better choice, right? Isn’t it a veggie? A starch veggie, but a veggie all the same.

No? OK, OK. I’ll get the carrots.

UPDATE: I've added a post on my travel blog. This one is about arriving in Islay and the Bunnahabhain distillery. And it's only half a day!