Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Lost and Lost

Remember that optimistic woman who was here last week? The one looking forward to 2008? Well, she’s disappeared, and I can’t find her anywhere.

She didn’t even give me a head’s up. Just pfffft—gone. And she left this moody, crying, wimpy woman in her place. That’s just rude.

Some weeks are just worse than others. As the medication wears off, I feel better. So, it’s Wednesday. I should be feeling better as the day goes on, then a little better each day. Until Sunday, when I take my shot, and it starts all over again. I thought about changing medications, but after reading the MS boards, I realized that this is common and it’s not much better with the other medications. And since I know that this one is working, I think I’ll just hang in there.

Unfortunately, that means the loved ones have to hang in there, too. It seems unfair to keep asking those around me to keep putting up with these swings. But that’s what you do, right? You hang in there, get through the rough spots, enjoy the high spots, and live through everything in between.

Hmm, how many more clichés can I state before I want to puke? There’s always a silver lining? Things will get better, they always do? It could be worse?

OK, that’s enough of that. More than enough. Enough is enough! Eight is enough! Wait, let’s not carried away here. When I start channeling 70s TV shows, I know I’ve got nothing left to say.

I think I’ll go surf some expensive yarn shops online. Unlike the huge bag of peanut butter M&Ms, that won’t add pounds to my thighs, just thin out my wallet. I can’t decide which is the lesser evil.


Peggy said...

Sweetie, if peanut butter M&Ms will make you feel better, then go and eat 'em! You were given a raw deal with that MS and it isn't fair. I didn't even know there WERE peanut butter M&Ms. They sound lovely. My comfort candy used to be chocolate stars. I don't know why the chocolate had to be star shaped, but it worked. Sadly, they're not available here either. Carrot and celery sticks just don't comfort enough do they? Do whatever you need to do to feel better; candy, yarn, shoes.

My cousin Mimi has been living with MS for twenty years (give or take a few years) and she has a pretty good life.

Kell said...

Thanks Peggy. I'm lucky that at least it's a mild case. It really could be much worse. And peanut butter M&Ms are very very yummy! And they help, too!

fiwa said...

Retail therapy and chocolates are your right. :)

I hope you feel better soon. It's hard not to get the blues this time of year, let alone if you have medical reasons for it.

Karen said...

So sorry to hear you are down. But I agree that it probably has to do with time of the year also. The post holiday blues. In any case, you deserve feel bad for yourself once in a while and to eat chocolate and buy yarn. I will keep you in my thoughts and send you positive vibes. :)

R.E.H. said...

Sorry to hear you're not feelin' too good. I hope you will feel better soon enough, and enjoy 2008 again.

I have two friends whose mother's have MS, and it's a real shitty illness.

My thoughts are with you.

Sparkling Red said...

Medication is a double-edged sword. So far I have found very few pharmaceuticals that do not give me side effects that are worse than the original problem.

I wish you courage as you ride the roller coaster.

Newt said...

Peanut Butter M&M's ROCK! There used to be a wonka candy called umpa lumpas which were pretty much the same thing and I loved those. I was very thankful they started making the M&M's so I could take care of those cravings.

Lisa said...

Kell, I'm just now seeing this post, but wanted to say that we have your back! You can do it . . . that mood will turn around.