Sunday, August 26, 2007

If . . .

If someone starts a sentence with “No offense, but . . .” chances are real good you’re going to be offended.

If you go to lunch with your friend and her adorable 21-month-old little boy, every waitress in the restaurant will come over to talk to him, but no one will bring you another glass of iced tea.

If a network is going to constantly publicize a new TV show months and months before it premiers, it’s not surprising you could care less when it actually airs.

If the doctor says it’s a simple procedure with a local anesthetic but asks if you would prefer to be knocked out, say “Yes, knock me out.”

If a picture paints a thousand words, then a book must paint a picture.

If you don’t work outside the home, and your spouse wants you to spend weekends helping with home projects, then weekends are just like any other day.

If you really don’t care about someone’s opinion, then why do you bother asking?

If you even hint at being bored, someone will find something for you to do and it will usually involve a committee.

If you go to the state fair and don’t eat something really bad for you, then you don’t have full “fair experience.”

Pictures of the NE State Fair coming soon!


Peggy said...

I went to the Nebraska State Fair once and was sick after being on The Scrambler. Does the NESF have a butter cow?

Can't wait to hear all about it!

her indoors said...

if i hadnt started a blog i wouldn't have come across your blog or found so many other great blogs

Betty said...

Too true. I have found that the more they advertise new shows, the less likely they are to last for two episodes.

Queen of Dysfunction said...

If someone starts a sentence with the phrase “No offense, but . . .” I would also say that chances are, they're about to say something that is no concern of theirs and they should probably keep to themselves.

Jay said...

"No offense but ..." is the same as "No disrespect to .."

When they say "No disrespect to (insert name here)" they are about to REALLY disrespect that person. Probably unfairly.

TV shows are like Movies. They hype the crap out of them for months and then as soon as the show flops they pretend it never existed.

Can't wait to hear about the fair. That should be interesting.

Michelle said...

If someone starts a sentence with “Well, to tell ya the truth...", I usually wonder how long they've been lying to me.

Tink said...

Great observations! I especially like the 1st. Are they forewarning you that you're about to be offended, or just giving themselves an out? Like, "I TOLD you not to be offended!"

Chelle Y. said...

If I had never met "Tink," I would not have read her comments and read how funny this "Jay" person was, then I would have never clicked on his name and lurked for awhile, then become brave enough to comment and finally become friends, THEN finally meet you! Phew!

My English teacher would love me right now! :)

(By the way, your post was great)

Kell said...

Chelle--you are too nice. I enjoy your blog, too.