Do Re Meme

I stole this from Betty, who probably stole it from someone else. that's the way we do things around here.

1. Christmas tree: pine or cedar?
Cedar. But we’re using a 4-foot artificial one that we’ve had for 6 years now. When I have my dream house, I’m going to have a HUGE Christmas Tree and hire one of Martha Stewart’s minions to come decorate it (I dream big).

2. Name two dumb things you did as a kid.
We’ve talked about my memory loss issues. Did you forget already? But I do remember the winter day that I heard wrong on the radio and thought we had school and insisted that I had to go (I put Lisa Simpson to shame), so Dad walked me through mountains of snow, upteen miles uphill, just to find out school was cancelled. I’m sure there are many more things, but I’ve blocked out a lot of my childhood. Either that or I just can’t remember.

3. What foods did your mom used to make that you will never, ever cook.
Liver and onions. Salmon out of a can. Sorry Mom.

4. Describe the place you go to in your head when you need to calm down.
Well, hell. What a good idea to have a happy place. Much better than mumbling to myself, sitting and rocking back and forth in the middle of the living room floor.

5. Have you ever seen a ghost, or something you can't explain?
Yes. I can’t explain the popularity of Jessica Simpson.

6. If money and image didn't matter, what would you do for a living?
If money didn’t matter, would I need to make a living? Oh, OK, but you already know that I’d be a writer—one that actually gets paid would be a nice change of pace. Of course that would mean I’d have to actually send stuff out. Hmmmm. Maybe I’d be a sheep and alpaca farmer in the Highlands of Scotland or New Zealand, spin the wool then label it “artisan” and charge outrageous prices on the web. Oh! I know! Since image doesn't matter, I'd sing in a band--rock band, country band, big band, whatever.

7. Did you ever fall off a horse and get right back on?
I’m afraid of horses. And if I’m not good at something immediately or on the first try, I’m afraid I tend to walk away.

8. What name did you call a sibling that was sure to start a fight?
My sibling reads this! Why would I call him that and suffer the wrath? Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever called him anything, but a friend of Mom’s called us Jelly and Kay. We hated that.

9. Describe the events surrounding your first alcoholic drink.
How do you expect me to remember that far back? I do remember sitting at Sonic and taking a swig of Jack Daniels, though, and liking that “warm all the way down” feeling.

10. Have you ever had a wild animal as a pet?
No. Don’t make me get on my soapbox.

11. Do you have a deep, dark secret?
Yes. And it’s going to stay deep and dark and a secret.

12. Would you ever shoot a deer?
No. But I’ve cooked my share.

13. Do you return money if you get too much change?
Of course I do. I have to stock up on those good deeds.

14. What puzzles you?
I guess “puzzles” would be too obvious, huh?

15. How do/did you act toward a person you have/had a crush on?
I babble and push my hair behind my ears. But not in an endearing way, in a “how can she be this old and still be awkward with the opposite sex” way.

16. What makes you cry?
My deep, dark secret. (I’ve gottcha curious now, don’t I? Well, at least Mom is curious.)

17. What's the best bargain you ever bought at a yard sale?
I don’t think I have a bargain story. I can’t barter, and I wouldn’t know a Chippendale chair from a Chippendale stripper. OK, yes I would, but you get the idea.

18. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?
Well, if a woodchuck could chuck wood, I’d have to say what the hell is a woodchuck and how does one chuck wood.

19. If nobody is watching, would you run a stop sign?
Probably not. I’m so boringly good.

20. Do you believe in Hell?
There better be one considering how many people I’ve told to go there.

21. What material possession do you value most?
iPod. That’s too easy. Ask me another one.

22. Which day is better...Friday or Sunday?
Friday. Still easy, come on, come on.

23. Do you read a book more than once?
Yes because I always find things I missed the fist time. But I don’t read books again as much as I can watch a movie over and over.

24. What is the greatest problem with today's society?
I can’t choose just one. Politics, obviously, is one. And caring too much about celebrities’ personal lives and not getting a life of their own is another.

25. How old were you when you first touched somebody else's hoohah?
“Hoohah?” If you can’t say it, maybe you haven’t seen one. I have no idea, by the way. I know who I wished it was, though (heh heh).

26. Would you ever skydive?
Why would I jump out of a perfectly good airplane?

27. Name 3 songs significant to your romantic life, and tell why.
“Is this Love” by Whitesnake because that was the big song when Al and I were dating. “You Can Leave Your Hat On” by Tom Jones and I’m not getting into that one. “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” because, well, just because.

28. Would you ever have plastic surgery?
You betcha. Gravity is the enemy. When I have to move the girls to snap my jeans, they’re outta here.

29. Does bigfoot/sasquatch/yehti exist?
You want me to say yes, don’t you. Yet, you insist there is no Santa Claus. *tsk tsk* That's why you get coal in your stocking.

30. Are you a follower or a leader?
Follower, until I see something shiny, then I go follow that.

31. What's the worst thing you did when you were a kid?
When my stepmother said to be careful of the cow because she was mean to her, I said it was because that cow thought my stepmother was competition for the bull. I said this to myself, of course. Must maintain the peace, after all.

32. List three jobs you would never want to do.
Car salesman. Politician. Reality Show Casting Director.

33. Coke or Pepsi?
Coke (with a splash of Maker’s Mark bourbon)

34. Where would you live if you could move your family, friends, and job there?
Scotland. I’d live there even if my family, friends and job weren’t there.

35. Is three really a crowd?
Not in my fantasies. Ha! Just kidding, I don’t share well with others.

36. What kind of interpersonal interaction repulses you?
Being swatted on the fanny by a man I don’t know or even do know for that matter. I like to quote Designing Women’s Julia Sugarbaker, “He shouldn’t have done that. I keep a list of men who touch my fanny without my permission, and they have all died a horrible death.”

37. Who would you rather spend an hour with, a writer or an entertainer?
An entertaining writer.

38. Which calendar appeals to you:
Photos of Scotland. I like lots of gorgeous scenery since I can’t look out my window and see it.

39. What would you do if life gave you lemons?
Squeeze them into cooked pasta and asparagus.

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Sure. Stranger things have happened.

41. Did you ever wish on a falling star, and have the wish come true?
No, but I caught a falling star once. I put it in my pocket because I’m saving it for a rainy day.