I Wasn't Going To Do This, But . . .

I feel that I shouldn’t let the day go by without some comment. I’m not really sure what to say because to be honest, I’m not really sure how I feel. I haven’t categorized or analyzed my feelings about 9/11 too much. So, maybe this would be a good time to do that.

I’m disgusted. It’s impossible to have any kind of tribute to the memory of the innocent people who lost their lives on 9/11 without that nagging feeling that it’s all an act. Oh, I’m sure there is some emotion in these politicians and pundits; you’d have to really be cold-hearted not to have some kind of emotional response. But I can’t help thinking that while all these tributes were being planned, election advisors were consulted on what to say, how to look, and on the best way to use this moment for political advantage. That’s not just being cynical, that’s just the way things seem to happen in this country. But you can bet Bush won’t have his sleeves rolled up this time—nice somber suit. Funeral-like but respectful.

I’m angry. What have we learned in the 5 years since 9/11? We’ve learned that there was not a link between Iraq and Al-Qaeda, nor were there weapons of mass destruction being built; therefore, there was no justification for the thousands of lives lost in a war in Iraq. And we’ve learned that while they deplete our military sources in other countries, our government is unable to take care of its own during a devastating natural disaster. And we’ve learned that all you have to say is “I take full responsibility” and we’re all supposed to bow down and pretend that everything is ok now.

I’m conflicted. I’m stuck in the middle, and I don’t like it. I live in a military world, and I can tell you honestly that you all have a lot to be proud of in your military. They are the hardest working, most honorable, and most sincere people I have met. They believe they are working for their country and trying to make the world a better place for all of us. I support the military, but I don’t support this administration, and that puts me in an awkward position. Retired generals can come out against the handling of the war, but active duty people and their dependents shouldn’t. Oh, it’s ok to have an opinion, it’s just not a good idea to voice it too loudly. Mainly because the majority of people are not going to agree with you, any way. And I’m very good at keeping the peace and just towing the line.

I’m sad. For all those who lost loved ones and those who lost their lives, I feel that pain. I remember turning on the news and watching the plane crash into the Twin Towers and the feeling of unbelief that came with that. I knew it was a different world now and that things would never really go back to “normal.” The base locked down, and I fielded phone calls from scared family and friends, telling them that Al was fine, no he hasn’t gone any where, and no, I didn’t know any more than they did.

I’m proud. Well, I am. I’m proud of the way we as Americans flew flags proudly and showed a united front in the face of terrorism. I’m proud of a military that puts their lives on the line. I’m proud of those who are left behind—military families and those who lost loved ones during the attacks—for continuing to fight for some kind of normalcy, while trying to be strong for those who are depending on them. And I’m proud that there’s a way for people to voice their opinions, whether on a blog, in an essay, or on a soapbox.